u/alallisonL

Does anyone have like a routine way of disclosing when dating? Like do you wait until date #X? Do you wait until you know for sure you want a relationship?

Also how do you tell potential partners? I’ve read that it’s my job to educate them but I also can word vomit so I don’t want it to sound like I’m trying to convince them.

I might be overthinking it & to be fair I’m not planning on getting back into dating for awhile (just got out of a relationship). I have a lot of anxiety about disclosure when I do get back into it & I almost feel like I need a script.

Curious on how you go about disclosing and/or any advice

Curious to know if any of you ladies on here have had herpetic cervicitis, especially during primary outbreak. If so what symptoms did you have & how long did it take to get better? How long, if you know, did it take for your primary outbreak occur after infection?

I’m asking because my newly ex partner thinks I gave him HSV2 but I think he gave it to me. We were only together a total of 8 months & I know cheating isn’t a factor.

We found a blister on his genitals a few weeks back but didn’t have any insurance & we’re going through financial problems at the time so didn’t prioritize getting tested. We just used condoms after finding it… (sometimes*).

Fast forward, I’m hospitalized for something unrelated & ask about an HSV test since they were already taking blood & doing other tests. I also had ZERO symptoms & just brought it up because it crossed my mind. Of course it was positive, I called my ex partner to let him know. He wasn’t happy. He immediately got defensive saying it’s impossible because the military did a health screening on him & he regularly gets tested. He said he’s never seen blisters before that or has never had any issues. He was celibate 2 years before meeting me & claimed he specifically requested an HSV test but I honestly don’t know if I believe him. I’ve only had 2 other partners since my negative HSV test & they claimed to have not had it either. My ex partner still hasn’t gotten himself tested.

At this point I’m driving myself crazy trying to figure out where it came from and that’s when I remembered a month after meeting him I got super sick. I had a fever for about a week, at some point I had watery discharge & I think I even remember my coochie being sore. I went to the ER on 2 separate occasions. First time they told me it was chlamydia or gonorrhea, even though I tested negative. The second time they told me it was cervicitis. By the time I got to the OB it was starting to get a little better & she told me it was pelvic inflammatory disease - at this point it’s been 3-4 weeks since my initial fever started. They ran all the tests on me & everything came back negative or normal, me and all the doctors were confused on how it happened.

After my diagnosis, of course I did a shit ton of research trying to understand how the hell this happened & that’s when I found herpetic cervicitis is a thing. From my understanding it can look very similar to PID & to me it would make sense because it seemed like no medications were working & herpes is one of the only tests they didn’t do.

I know I technically can’t know for sure. Maybe it’s something I’m trying to make up in my head so I don’t feel like I gave it to him. To me though, it would make sense that we met, he infected me, then within that 1 month period I had my primary outbreak that made me sick. Then I found it on him it was just a blister & a half & not bad because he’d already been exposed.

TLDR; I think my primary outbreak was misdiagnosed herpetic cervicitis shortly after meeting my ex partner. Looking to hear others experiences with your primary outbreak or if you’ve also experienced herpetic cervicitis.