u/allthatentrails

I can just never really seem to get convos going unless in certain situations (maybe bars?) and with a certain type of person (super talkative, social people where they give me enough 'ammo' to demonstrate my personality?)

I suck. I know the advice is always to 'practice', but I've done that everyday...for years. And nothing ever really changes. Maybe a bit like telling someone to 'practice' the alphabet when they simply don't know the letters past 'P' lol

Today there was a girl at work i'd not had the chance to speak too yet. I said 'hi' to her and asked her how her day was going and she was said was fine but a bit tired. I was like 'yeah, it's been hard work today!'. Asked her when she started working here and she mentioned recently but that she goes to college soon. I asked her what she was studying and she said teaching. (one of my issues is taht I can never think of something to comment on when people answer my questions. Certainly nothing 'good'! After a few seconds I asked if she liked kids and she said yes). I asked if she had any siblings and she said she had a few. I said 'are you the youngest?' and she said she was the middle child. I was already feeling like I was basically out of conversational ammo and more or less just said 'cool, cool....well, I better get back too it' or something which was maybe a bit awkward lol.

I used to think my inability to think of things to say was just my anxiety, but sometimes I think I just have a broken brain or something, because even sitting here now without any anxiety, i'm not really able to picture in my head how a well socialised person would talk. What he/she would have said. How he would reply to her answers. What 'better' things they would ask. How they'd maybe make it more playful etc

I work in a warehouse. Due to the nature of the role, i'll be speaking to the same person, just for maybe 5-6 mins, 5 or 6 times per day.

After out first 'interaction' i'm basically done. Out of ideas. I've asked them about their weekend. Asked how their day is going. Made a comment on anything obvious that stands out today about them or in the environment.

And then for the next 5 interactions, it's just muted and awkward and quiet. I'm out of ammo. Meanwhile, everyone around me in the same situation is effortless carrying seemingly engaging, fun convos. I need their brains in my head!

No amount of reading 'how to win friends and influence people' and other similar books seem to help.

And no amount of 'practice' helps. Because it feels like trying to 'practice' the alphabet up to Z when I've only been taught the first 6 letters lol. I come unstuck at the same points each time.

I've tried evesdropping but due to the warehouse noise i'd have to get super close to them which isn't practical lol. But I feel If I could listen to a good handful of these convos and how they begin etc, it's be worth more than any book i've read