Can you truly be happy
I guess I would consider myself a PIMO. I am still very active in the congregation. Still a pioneer although I’m about to get off the list for schedule reasons/depression. I just can’t do too much rn bc I’m working full time and am going through a rough patch w my depression and anxiety. I’ve led a “rich spiritual life”. Been a need greater in a foreign country, pioneered since I was a kid, been an exemplary child/young adult. But I’m a lesbian.
I have a gf. She is also JW. Never thought this would happen but it just did. Been dating for a year. We have thought about leaving. She believes more than I do but I do believe no other organization believes what I believe so that’s why I am still here. There are things that I have doubts about but I don’t have anything bad to say about the friends or the organization. I believe they truly are doing their best with what they are given. I believe in Jehovah and that he can still love me. I just don’t fit into the organization.
I’m thinking about fading out. Becoming inactive. Living a quiet, loving life with my gf. If she still wants to go to meetings I would respect that. I would probably go to certain events.
My main question is: has anyone been through this process? I’m scared. This is all I’ve known and my friends are great. I know I will lose them and that’s okay bc that’s what they’ve chosen to believe and do. I just am so afraid to be lonely. Can you truly be happy outside? Can you find true friends? Kind friends? People that aren’t going to betray you? I’m scared.