u/ama122416

About five months ago my dog Simba started showing symptoms which at the beginning looked like his skin issues he's had his whole life. The lumps and bumps grew in size and quantity, and then came the inflammation. Later his tongue was affected too. Our vet treated him for skin issues, and then suggested maybe it's autoimmune. Cancer was brought up as a possibility but was the last step after the aforementioned when he had biopsies done and was diagnosed with epitheliotropic cutaneous lymphoma on 5/7. They said this was a rare form of cancer that presents as skin issues making it harder to diagnose. At this point he's experiencing muscle loss from constant prednisone use which at first was subduing his symptoms. We went to our first oncologist appointment on Thursday but I had to contact nonprofits to find funding for the $6,000-$8,000 chemo treatment they quoted me - they said 70% of dogs respond and he could get six more months. Over the weekend his tongue worsened to the point of him stopping eating and having more difficulty swallowing - he would literally be up at night trying to swallow due to his tongue taking up most of his airway. Then he slowed down on walks and had balance issues when standing. I didn't think he would even make it to treatment or survive it. I made the gut wrenching heartbreaking decision to end his pain yesterday and have been wrecked with guilt ever since. I miss him so much and feel so bad that I couldn't save him. I wish we did testing months ago instead of treating his symptoms and it being the last step. Being the one to end his time has destroyed me. Was there anything else I could have done? From diagnosis on 5/7 to yesterday, he was gone in less than two weeks :( Simba was everything to me. It feels like I failed and betrayed him