u/amber_3004

Hi everyone, I’ve been lurking on this sub for a while but this is my first time posting because I’m really struggling and wondered if anyone else has or is feeling like this. My partner (m) and I (f) are both 26 and we’ve been together for 5 years. We both want children, but we’ve made the decision to wait until he finishes university because we know it’s the right thing to do financially and practically. I know that waiting is the best decision for our future family.
The problem is that my heart doesn’t seem to care about waiting. For the last year, my baby fever has become so overwhelming that it feels like it takes over my life. Every single month around the same time in my cycle, I convince myself I might be pregnant. I’ll start symptom spotting, googling everything, analysing every twinge or feeling and buying pregnancy tests even though I know they will be negative. It’s like I can’t stop myself, despite knowing there’s really no chance. Lately it’s become even harder because pregnancy seems to be everywhere around me. Someone I’m close with at work is pregnant, my hairdresser is pregnant and even my therapist is pregnant. I’m genuinely happy for all of them and I don’t feel jealous in a horrible way, but every announcement or bump is another reminder of something I want so badly but can’t have yet. It feels like the universe is constantly putting it in front of me.
I know waiting is for the greater good and I know that when the time finally comes I’ll be glad we waited until we were in the right place. But right now that doesn’t make the waiting feel any easier. Has anyone else experienced this level of obsession while waiting to try? Especially the symptom spotting and buying tests every month? Did anything actually help you get through this stage or make the waiting feel more manageable? I’d really appreciate any advice because at the moment it feels like I’m spending a week or two every month completely consumed by it and it’s becoming emotionally exhausting.