Extremely subtle signs of narcissism?
Hi. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months and have noticed some traits in him which have recently led me to be worried I may be dealing with super early and subtle marks of narcissistic personality disorder. If anyone can provide some feedback and advice I'd be very grateful.
The main issues are these: He is normally extremely kind, generous, well-loved by everyone around him, he takes care of everyone's needs, acts almost as a sort of manager who will get everyone's tickets to a show, etc, he is extremely family-oriented. But, a few times when I have accidentally said something he felt was insulting in regards to things he's prideful of, like the private school he attended as a kid, he blows up and is very slow to apologize for the blow up. This has happened a few times and it always feels really random. Like, we are having a normal conversation and then I say something he doesn't like and his face 'shuts down', his voice changes and it literally feels like a different person has appeared for a few minutes until I stop talking. I have also noticed I basically wipe-out these moments from my own mind because they are so out of character with his everyday behavior. Next, he seems to present himself to others as extremely accomplished and doing a lot of great things, while I have seen in his day-to-day life he basically does not want to work and expects others to help him, like his parents (to some extent). Yet he talks often about being super busy and having a lot on his shoulders. When I bring up topics like marriage or children, he has blown up at me multiple times because he feels that I am taking away the special-ness of him proposing on his timeline (yes I know we haven't dated long but we are both Catholics and old enough to be having these discussions at this point). Ultimately, I've told him that it feels like my feelings are not taken into consideration and that I always have to bend myself to fit his plans, ideas, and I have to walk on eggshells in order to not get him upset. This is becoming increasingly disturbing to me because I also feel internally that it is very hard to detach from him and I haven't felt this way before in a relationship. I'm so tired of feeling confused and like I am a bad person. It feels like we are glued in some way that I don't understand and yet he cannot give me clarity about what a life together looks like in the future.
Thank you in advance!