Standup comedy crowdwork…
Tonight, my family and I went to see a show. I wasn’t feeling too thrilled about it from the get go but I did it because they wanted to. Something that concerned me though was that someone had told us “if you’re not offended easily, the show is great” and we weren’t sure what they meant and didn’t know what to expect. However, I had a feeling that it could possibly mean a comedian doing crowdwork and I do not find that type of comedy to be funny, I am very sensitive. It was entertainment like acrobats and a showgirl at first, a little raunchy which felt uncomfortable but I could deal with it, we figured before the show this could be the type of thing that the person was talking about if you’re offended easily? But anyway… after those performances, a comedian came out. I had a bad feeling immediately, and then he started doing crowdwork. I kept telling myself in my head to blend in and look unassuming. I told my mom it wasn’t my scene. But then, I started feeling really uncomfortable and I wanted to disassociate from my surrounding and to do that, I usually go on my phone… and that’s what I did. It was such a stupid thing to do, I don’t know how I wouldn’t think it wouldn’t make me stand out. I guess I thought “if he sees me on my phone, he’ll know I don’t want to be picked on” but I was naive for thinking that… All he said at first was that I was on my phone, but immediately that got me super anxious and I covered my face. Everything else he said started blurring and I just started crying. When I started crying, I could hear him say “it must be autism or——-“ everything else after that blurred once again, but the word autism just stuck out like a sore thumb. And everybody laughing… it brought back bad experiences of everybody laughing at me when I was in school because I’m different. We ended up leaving and I just couldn’t stop crying. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience or can relate somewhat because I couldn’t find anything to relate to online and it just made me feel so overly sensitive and alone. Sorry if this was long, I really needed to vent about it. Also, my first post here, hi everyone 🥹