Am I doing enough?
My mom is 69, 70 in a couple weeks, and she was diagnosed 2 months ago with s4 bile duct cancer, she has declined treatment. She started home hospice two weeks ago, but they rarely come out, nurse once a week and a CNA maybe for only 30 minutes in duration two times a week to clean her. I am one of three sons that she has; one lives in another state and my other brother lives 30 minutes away and doesn’t see or try to talk to her. I will admit she was a bit abrasive growing up which led to some estrangement during our teens through twenties (we are triplets and 42 yo). I visit weekly, my set day is Tuesday to where I can just focus on what she needs and to give her some company. But I have to work, I wish I didn’t but I have to. Hospice said they are only legally required to visit once a week, but I worry that is not enough help for her. I work in hospitality and my schedule is pretty full especially on weekends. I have been visiting with her often but I can only stay so long because of my job. We are not in a place where we can afford a private caregiver, I just don’t want my mom to think I don’t care or that I’m pawning off the responsibility. This sucks and I hate that my other brothers couldn’t seem to care about my mom’s condition or the challenges her condition entails. Am I doing enough or am I just being a wuss and hiding at work? Idk. I love my mom and I didn’t think I’d be here navigating these muddy waters.