Corporate life is draining me
I was head hunted for a really good opportunity to almost double my salary and I took it… and now I just feel like an empty shell. The place where I work now is 5 days in office and I thought “maybe this routine will be better for me” HAHAHAHA WHAT WAS I THINKING
I hit my 90 days, but also within that 90 days, I got reprimanded for talking too much and having too much “non business chatter.” But then, I had a great review and it only left me feeling nervous and confused.
I then got assigned a new manager and had to have another one on one with her and during that she basically told me that I need to comprehend things better and read things more carefully. I feel like I just keep on making mistakes. I know I do good work but it feels like it’s just expected and not appreciated. I am a shell of myself when I’m there. I mask so hard that I just hope I’m making enough eye contact and sounding interested enough so my coworkers don’t feel like I’m being rude. I have been applying to places but I just know that corporate life is NOT for me. Yet, I feel so stuck and honestly I am only there for the money. I don’t go out of my way to make friends (nor do I want to) and being in an office environment is just so exhausting.
I’ve been here for 6 months now and it just occurred to me that I hate it. Too much office politics, too much masking, and I envy those who can stay in an environment like this, why is it so easy for them? I got in trouble again today and I feel like this one might cost me my job. Every week I just pray that I can make it to Friday, at this point I just feel like a corporate mule.