u/anime_OG

i and ivy have been friends for over 5 years now. I met her during one of the worst times of my life, when my grandmother had cancer so both my parents were two states away for her treatment for over a year and a half. my elder sister had MDD as well as developing Bipolar disorder, my other two siblings were in college and would come back home daily at around 8. My class teacher hated me and had it out for me. Everything was horrible, but the only one i had during that time was Ivy. She was one of those kids you just click with, we both liked drawing and painting, though she was much better at it than me, we both were more online than the other kids in class, it just worked out, but it wasn't like there weren't problems at the beginning. She would fat shame me, not directly, but she would imply it. She made fun of my art style, of my music taste, of me liking anime, of how i looked and how i walked. Once again, it was always very discreet.

Then, in the next grade, we had no classes together. It was horrifying for me, because unlike her, i was completely dependent on her and i didn't have other friends. She seemed to be doing just fine, she made new friends and was doing pretty good overall. Then came her crush into the mix. She liked this senior who was two classes above us. She really wanted to look cool in front of her, so she made me "fake-date" her. She would kiss me unprompted if her crush was passing by and she would make me act all lovey-dovey around her. That time around, i was really struggling with my identity, i was aroace, and she knew that. I told her after a few weeks that the pretend dating had to stop, and she got upset with me instead. I had to buy her chocolates and apologize multiple times just so she'd talk to me again.

Then the next grade, i met this girl, Dei. She was really a game changer for me, she was amazing, fun, and actually appreciated me. I introduced her to Ivy, and even though at first Ivy was jealous of her, she ended up warming up to her. Dei really made me finally become less dependent on Ivy. But around the end of the grade, an incident changed everything between us two. I used to collect lighters. It was just a stupid hobby, but i really had fun collecting them. Ivy had bought her dad's lighter to school to show it to me, it's flame burned in a purplish color and i found it really cool, but i forgot to give it back to her. The next day, i bought it with me to school to give it back to her, but a teacher ended up finding me with it and both of us got into a lot of trouble. What the turning point was, she blamed me for bringing it even in the first place, as if it was all my fault. My heart broke. That was the first time i actually realized that she wasn't good for me.

This year, i met this girl who changed everything for me, Arii. I sort of told all of this stuff to Arii, and she stopped, and told me that the things she did with me wasn't ok. Then came in our other two friends, Eren and Naem, who are both our online friends. These three quickly became my whole world. I was finally free of the emotional baggage that was Ivy. Then Ivy got Eren's Instagram id somehow. She and her started talking, by this time i was completely done with ivy bur still thought that me and Arii were her close friends. I finally told Eren that i didn't like her and Ivy becoming friends and she told me that she was absolutely going to stop talking to Ivy for my sake. So they started talking less, but then Ivy out of nowhere drops that she likes Eren. We tell her and things start to get messy. She makes Eren forcibly match PFPS with her. She then makes a discord ID and somehow gets Naem's id. She starts talking to him, but thankfully, by now Arii had already warned him about her, but she told arii that she would "steal all her friends" and that Naem would soon be her bestfriend instead of Arii's. Now, Arii and Naem's friendship in itself is a pretty funny topic, they're well the kind who've been through so much together that they plan what their next fight is gonna be about, so they are THAT close. Ivy forced us to add her in our discord GC with our other friends. Then, this was the first kinda shitty thing we did. Eren used an alt account and added that to the gc and called the alt "Ely" and said that Ely was her girlfriend. Ivy is obviously super rude to her, not knowing that it was just Eren on an alt account. I also came out to her this year, and she still refuses use the correct pronouns. Then she somehow found out about our main GC on whatsapp, and there was no way we were going to add her to the main one, so we added her to this fake gc we made as joke. And now, eren "broke up" with Ely, and ivy immediately texted her, asking if they can start "talking". So now they're in a "situationship", plus we talk behind her back in the main gc, so i have been feeling a little guilty about this. She thinks that we all are friends but that's really not it so is this wrong of us?

I'm sort of new but i think this is the correct subreddit for this

AITAH for leaving our friend out and talking behind her back?

in desperate need of reccomendations