u/animeboi303

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I'm 37M and my boyfriend is 35M. I honestly don't even know where to begin.

This summer, my boyfriend and I were supposed to take a vacation together in the middle of June. We had been talking about it and planning it for about 2–3 months beforehand.

Then he told me he wanted to go back home for the summer. To me, that was no big deal. That's fine. But then he dropped the bomb that he was leaving at the beginning of June, which meant our original vacation wasn't going to happen. I was upset at first, but I still tried to make it work.

I suggested a few places we could meet that would be about a four-hour drive for him and around seven hours for me. I didn't mind doing the longer drive because I still wanted us to have our vacation together. He agreed and said that was fine.

Then, literally two days before we were supposed to meet, he changed his mind and said he couldn't go because he didn't have the money.

I was beyond upset. We had made plans, and once again he backed out. So instead, I decided to go to the Omaha Zoo by myself, which honestly ended up being one of the best decisions I've made.

On my way there, I talked to him on the phone about how everything made me feel. Getting vacation time isn't always easy for me because I work two jobs. My main job is with a school district, so I have summers off, but I'm also in management at my second job, which makes getting time off there more difficult.

During this conversation, he called me controlling. I honestly almost laughed because I don't care that he wanted to go home for the summer. That's not the issue. The issue is that we made plans together and he backed out—not once, but twice.

During the summer, I really tried to keep in contact with him. I would call, text him about my day, ask how he was doing, etc. Eventually, my best friends asked me, "Why are you the one constantly trying to keep in contact with him? Shouldn't he be doing some of the contacting too?"

And honestly, they weren't wrong.

So I stopped initiating contact just to see what would happen. It took about a week and a half before he finally texted me. I think he's called me maybe twice this entire summer. Almost every other phone call has been initiated by me.

He says he doesn't call because he's afraid I'm busy. I've told him multiple times, "Just shoot me a text and ask if I'm busy. I'll tell you yes or no."

Lately, even when I do call him, he seems uninterested in our conversations. I mostly talk about what's going on in my life because he's not here, especially things happening at work, but sometimes I feel like I'm talking to someone who isn't really interested.

Now it's almost time for me to go back to school, and he's still not back. If he is back, he hasn't told me. I would really like to spend some time together before school starts again.

Am I crazy for feeling like this? Am I being high-maintenance? Am I actually being controlling?

I don't feel like my needs are being met at all. I'm not asking him to spend every second with me or constantly text and call me. I just want to feel like my boyfriend actually wants to talk to me, spend time with me, and make plans with me.

There's honestly a lot more that has happened, but these are the highlights.

I'm at a loss about what to do. I love him a lot, but lately I don't feel like I'm getting that same love or effort back.

I haven't spoken to him since Monday.