will my white husband ever understand?
My husband (white 23M) and I (black Jamaican 23F) have been together for almost five years and got married last month. I love him with all my heart and we have a very healthy communication style. Over the years he has grown as a person tremendously and truly listens when I try to explain my experiences as a black woman with an immigrant mom.
He comes from a small town in the south east of the US and can be kind of hot headed. He often talks about expecting respect from everyone around him, even strangers, and I have tried to impress on him how he only can have that perspective because he is a white straight man. He swears it has nothing to do with it.
But I know he doesn’t know what it’s like to be disrespected everywhere you go. If I walked around getting angry at every little slight, I would be eternally pissed at the world around me. It’s just not an option for me.
People have been openly racist to me in public (more like micro-aggressions) and he causes a scene every time. Normally in these situations I would just brush it off but he just won’t.
Have you ever had this kind of conversation with your partner? How would you explain this?