u/anonforwedding

Solo recruiter at a tech start-up. I’ve been at the company for years, but maybe over the past 9 or so months we seem to be really struggling with the folks we hire. It’s become even more prevalent over the last few months or so: we’ll hire a candidate and then a few months later (sometimes as soon as 30 days in) the team will come to us and say the new hire isn’t working out and we’ll have to fire them. The reasons vary: they think the person is lazy, not picking up the tech fast enough or not ramping up fast enough, they aren’t as good as the other people on the team, or even just that the person turns out to not be a good culture fit. This is happening to maybe 10 recent new/newer hires on various teams.

WHAT is going on?! Anyone have insight? The teams are making the decision to hire these candidates and don’t make any objections during the interview processes! However, after the fact, I hear that they “knew” the hire would be bad but they picked the “least bad” candidate out of all the “terrible candidates” presented to them.

I have never experienced this in the 15+ years I’ve been recruiting. Is it me? Is it just the company? Needless to say, my position is now on the chopping block if this doesn’t improve.

This might be a long one but I’ve felt so bottled up because the way I feel makes me a terrible person so I don’t want to share with anyone I know.

My husband and I (both mid-30s) have always wanted kids. Unfortunately our timeline was really pushed back when I was suddenly diagnosed with two pretty serious autoimmune conditions. I can still safely have children with both disorders but I needed/need to spend extra time getting my health under control and medications under control before we start.

Why I feel like a bad person: our best friends, a couple who always said they never wanted kids, have changed their mind and want to start trying. I SHOULD be happy about this, but why can’t I be happy? I get sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that they may get pregnant before us. Or that they’ll be able to get pregnant faster than us because neither of them health issues. Maybe what I really feel is grief over my health and what I thought my life would look like. I just dread the moment they “surprise” us with the news - of course I won’t show my true feelings but I don’t think I will be able to handle it.

It just doesn’t feel fair. We wanted this longer. And I know it will be easier for it to happen to them than us. I want to feel happy about it and I know in the long run I will, but I can’t imagine it right now.

Please don’t remind me how terrible of a person I am - I already know and I wish I didn’t feel this way. I just had to get it out with maybe (??) at least one other person that could relate?