u/anonomooseee

Hi everyone, I am not sure if anyone was looking for an update to my post about a month ago but I have one, and I don't think it's a good one tbh.

As it turns out, my partners parents are strictly of the LDS Faith and while I wanted to give them grace and the benefit of the doubt, this is a lesson that I shouldn't be surprised when people don't change.

My partner's father made it very clear that he does not and will never view our relationship as valid because it isn't and it's a sin in God's eyes. Their mother was no better, being passive aggressive while agreeing with the father.

We are heartbroken but unsurprised. We had both hoped for change, but now we know the truth and can hold steady knowing that moving forward, my partner has decided to go full no-contact with their parents and I fully support them.

Thank you all for your opinions and words, and I'm really sorry this wasn't a better update. But it is what it is and we can close this door and move forward.

I (25F) am in a bit of a dilemma. My (26F) partner and I are looking to be wed by the end of this year and I'm really looking forward to it! This is truly the love of my life and I can't imagine what my future would look like without them.

Having said all of this, I'm really looking to know if I would be the AH if I didn't tell my dad about these plans.

Some background info is that my dad now lives in Puerto Rico and I live on the west coast of the US. Our relationship is strained at best, as I'm the oldest of two siblings. Growing up, I was the glass child who was pushed off to the side in favor of the younger, sicker child. This has cultivated into the youngest now being the golden child as an adult and as a result, I've become the black sheep of the family and been the one everyone looks to when it comes to fixing issues or blaming lives for going awry.

My father and I have a strained relationship as an adult. He clearly favors my younger sister, as he continuously has made me out to be a horrible older sister for no longer taking the abuse thrown at me by my little sister who has turned out to be a narcissist who cannot comprehend when things don't go her way.

I'm at a loss on whether or not I should tell my dad about these plans because, quite frankly, I do not want him there on the happiest day of my life. I do not want him being present and having a say in how the day goes. Purely because, I am most worried that he will try to force me to invite my younger sister and due to how horrible our relationship is, I do not want her there.

There is also the strained point from him that he insists my partner and I be dating for 2 years minimum and engaged for one year, whereas we've completely flipped it and do not mind having a courthouse wedding sooner rather than later.

My dad is not kind to me as well. He blames me a lot for how his life turned out, he will call me to simply yell at me if I just want advice from him, and quite frankly, I'm tired of the way he treats me as his therapist and overall how he has been to me my entire life. I've been pushed aside for long enough, that I'm tired and I'm done.

The only reason I'm wondering if I would be the AH, is he's writing his will and I'm worried if I don't tell him that he would write me out of the will and leave all three houses he has to my sister. While I don't want that, I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice my peace. Especially with my soon-to-be future wife, their peace is of the utmost importance to me.

So would I be the asshole if I didn't tell him about my partner and i's plans to get married at the end of this year? Because I get the feeling in his eyes that I will be the asshole (& potentially never hear the end of it) and I just want to know if I would be the asshole to other people