MD for my entire life as far as I can remember
Since I turned 13-14 my anxiety kicked into high gear (I was later diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder) and I needed an escape from all the stress so I turned to movies, television and YouTube to occupy my mind whenever I could. My days would usually involve going to school/work/extracurricular club and performing the bare minimum while actively chasing my daydreams before coming home and watching content for hours on end. Because of this, I got used to having constant dopamine intake and whenever life wasn’t fulfilling that need I would let my thoughts would take over.
I’m 19 now, about to start my Sophomore year of college and I’m starting to take some film and acting classes in addition to my major classes to try and address this long neglected need, but I still struggle with MD regularly. Since quitting YouTube and tv (I’ll still watch movies on occasion) I have been pacing and thinking whenever I have free time instead of developing the skills I want to, which kind of becomes a vicious cycle in which I hate myself for not being good enough at guitar/writing/making videos and I escape into a fantasy in which I am, thereby avoiding actually addressing the issue in the first place. I would love to hear from anyone who could provide some insight into how I can help myself, any response is appreciated.