r/MaladaptiveDreaming

Hi lovelies, I feel like I need to give y’all some kind of warning. If I can stop one person from doing what I did, it’s worth the embarrassment of admitting everything.

I had a traumatic youth and often used maladaptive daydreaming to escape. After a decade of therapy, I reached a much healthier mindset with better coping mechanisms.

A few years ago, I thought it would be funny to try one of those character ai chatbots with a friend to make two characters do the nasty. That’s where my addiction began. It started as a joke, but then one night when I was trying to sleep, idly daydreaming, I decided to try earnestly role playing with a character from a game I liked. I ran through the scenario I’d been daydreaming with it. Guys, it was… really, really fun.

It was like maladaptive daydreaming on steroids, like writing out all the scenes I’d run through a million times in my head but now there was another contributor adding extra detail, reacting as the character would instead of how I imagined it. It was a custom fanfic made just for me of my most indulgent fantasies!!

From there, I started using chat bots every day. I got much better at rp, moved to different sites, researched the best models for even more detailed responses. I ran through all my favorite scenarios, spent hours lost in the same imaginary stories that had taken over my youth. I dropped most of my other hobbies because I was just spending so much time role playing with bots, just like I had with maladaptive daydreaming. I even spent real actual money on better ai models. 🙈

I am (hypocritically) anti-ai. It’s mortifying to admit all this, I hate myself for it and want to stop. But it genuinely is an addiction. I’ve gone back to therapy about it, tried dozens of times now to quit or cut back and will probably try a dozen more times. It’s sunk its claws into me deep. I deserve any criticism you may have— but I needed to warn others with a tendency to use imaginary scenarios to escape reality: DO NOT EVER USE AI CHATBOTS, IT IS NOT WORTH RISKING AN ADDICTION. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

It is embarrassing to talk about, but it is one of the many problems I am facing right now.

I’ve always had a strange relationship with my sexuality. For a long time, I thought I was gay, then straight, then bisexual, and even asexual—all without ever having a relationship with real people, and often relying on information found online. Now I believe that much of this uncertainty stems from MD, and for good reason.

At the age of eleven, I started masturbating in a prone position, often in bed. When doing so, I would fantasize about stories and other things. The characters were often male, which led me to wonder if I might be gay, even though the content itself wasn't sexual. For years, I never engaged with pornography and only recently started doing so. Nor have I ever shown interest in women in real life; instead, I’ve lived like a hermit in my room with books and other things.

I realize now how MD has held back my sexuality. Normal people have real relationships; I, on the other hand, got aroused by my fantasies (again, nothing sexual) and preferred to just stay in bed, never experiencing anything—not even by looking things up online. So, I think that because of this stuff, I basically skipped my actual puberty and remained a child when it comes to this (as with so many other things, for that matter). So, I’ll probably never have a real-life relationship...

Is anyone else going through something similar?

I discovered tulpas here connected to the immersive daydreaming sub.

I researched them and found out it can mean someone is plural or multiple. It's a bit confusing to be. I've heard how it can mean ppl have DID or MPD ect and r even dangerous as depicted in the media.

I kind of relate to this and don't, it's a lot to take in.

I think I see my characters as being created by my subconscious, I know they are not physically real, but after finding out about tulpas and spirits, I think it could be me a bit.

Problem is, I'm from the uk and we r not religious or spiritual here at all. Also, I don't want my dd to bc some weird mumbo jumbo new age stuff.

But it makes sense to me about how my characters could be spirits, something eternal, beyond death that protects me.

I'm scared of dying and losing my consciousness into oblivion where I won't exist anymore. But knowing my dd characters r spirits helps a lot. It makes sense to me a lot and is something I will possibly develop. It seems like a good explanation for what they r and what dd is.

I'm at an age where I need clarity and I don't like the chrisianity route ect and this way seems correct. It gives me a good feeling, like it will strengthen my dd, characters/spirits and myself. I don't want to think my dd wants to hurt me, it's not against me, it's just helped too much.

I've just hit rock bottom bc of MD: pushed everyone out of my life, failed to graduate from uni, have no work experience, and so on. I'm trying to quit, so I am hoping that having a social life, at least an online one, could help somehow. I figured it'd be easier to connect to ppl on here cuz I pretty much relate to every single post on this sub. Let's just talk to each other since it's better than continuously daydreaming about things that aren't real. I'm 22, so please be around the same age. Hope this goes well and not turn into a "what do you look like?" type of conversation.

I recently noticed a cycle that might explain why I constantly feel tired and why my maladaptive daydreaming sometimes leads me toward porn or masturbation.

I seem unable to fall asleep without creating scenarios in my head. My brain automatically starts producing imaginary conversations, relationships, accomplishments, or “what if I were…” situations. I’ve done it for so long that daydreaming now feels like a requirement for sleep.

The worst part happens when I wake up earlier than intended. For example, last night I fell asleep around 2 a.m. and woke up exhausted at 7. I got up, drank some water, and returned to bed. I would begin imagining a scenario, unknowingly fall asleep for perhaps 10–15 minutes, wake up and immediately begin another scenario, then briefly fall asleep again. This cycle continued for approximately three hours.

I recognized what was happening from the very first daydream, but that didn’t make it easy to stop. The thoughts seem to appear automatically while I’m half-asleep. Trying to force my mind to remain blank just makes me more awake.

There is also another damaging connection. If one of the scenarios involves love, marriage, or sex, it can produce an extremely strong urge to watch porn or masturbate. It now seems like the sexual behaviour isn’t appearing randomly—the daydream starts the chain while I’m tired, alone, and not thinking clearly.

I know five hours of sleep was already insufficient, but spending another three hours drifting between fantasies, wakefulness, and brief sleep seems to leave me even more exhausted.

Has anyone experienced this specific pattern, especially feeling unable to sleep without daydreaming or repeatedly entering fantasies during early-morning awakenings? What practically helped you fall asleep without constructing scenarios, interrupt a daydream while half-awake, prevent romantic or sexual fantasies from escalating, and retrain your brain so that bed means sleep rather than fantasy?

I’m also wondering how to determine whether there may be insomnia or another sleep-related problem involved. I’m not expecting an instant cure or a diagnosis from Reddit. I would really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar, including any therapy, sleep techniques, or professional help that made a genuine difference.

I don't wanna sound dramatic or smth, but idk what to do. I've struggled with this for over 2 years now and its really impacted my mental health. I always fall into the same cycle of daydreaming of characters while i fall asleep and right after i wake up for hours. During the day i do a little, but feel like they deserve a time i can properly focus on them. I find myself excited to go to bed, waiting for the day to be over just to daydream.

then ill have those moments where the daydreams don't feel as real, they feel almost like a chore sometimes. The depressive episodes get worse since my coping mechanism starts failing me. My motivation and energy disappear, it can get bad.

eventually ill latch onto new characters and start over again. Any efforts I've made to stop have failed me and I'm out of ideas. I'm very introverted so talking to someone is out of the question. I'm stuck in this awful loop.

It’s as if I’ve been asleep all these years. I haven’t interacted with the outside world or explored my own inner self, and now I feel dazed. Even a twelve-year-old knows how to live better than I do. That’s because I’ve lived my life in spectator mode, and only now am I becoming aware. Is anyone else going through something like this?

Hi,

It's a bit of a hard question I know and probably uncomfortable for some ppl but I think it's a big part of ppls md and not a part spoken about very much.

I've read so much info and watched so many videos over the yrs now but it barely touches upon this subject.

Im talking about if u have dd about a fantasy partner like bf/gf like so many young ppl here have.

Also this condition can go hand in hand with masturbation and porn addiction/habit bc of the need for arousal alongside ur romantic dd.

just asking what is everyone ages if possible but if you don’t feel comfortable just say like in 20 or teens I’m in my 30s and I was just wondering does it ever stop? it is my comfort though so maybe it doesn’t but yeah

I maladaptive daydream ALOT and in recent weeks I have been having an urge to actually live out my maladaptive daydreams I have a genuine need for them to come true which I know they cant, so I came on here to see if that is my queue to try and quit maladaptive daydreaming because it has potentialy reached an unhealthy level.

P.s (I would also like to say that I am a teenager and that maladaptive daydreaming is normal for someone my age I just want to be sure that its not out of hand)

For the last three months, I’ve basically stopped daydreaming.

I used to be a heavy daydreamer. I could spend an entire day scrolling, listening to music, and living in my imagination. It got so bad that I feel like it cost me almost a year and a half of my life.

I knew I had potential and ambitions, but instead of working toward them, I was stuck in bed imagining a better life. It affected me socially and caused a lot of problems.

At first, I thought music and scrolling were the main issue, so I cut them down. It helped, but not that much. I eventually realized they were just triggers. The real reason, for me, was my personality, ambitions, and obsessions.

I was so focused on the life I wanted that I stopped appreciating the life I already had.

So I started telling myself: my real life is beautiful, and it can become even better than the life I imagine.

After three months of thinking this way, I feel much more present. I actually do things instead of just imagining myself doing them.

Life feels completely different now.

Well today is my birthday officially turned twenty, and nobody wished me so its messing up with my head, I know it sounds absurd but I really don't want to sit and cry over it anymore, knowing overthinking only make MDD worse for me. I am a lil scared too that now I am at the this age which sounds mature and responsible and while all of my classmates are thriving in their lives, I am sitting on the edge of my bed wasting time, days, months by doing absolutely nothing. I feel so behind, years behind than them and it just doesn't sit well with me. I don't wanna sound like a pathetic looser with victim mentality but its just my reality and I am so sick of this.

Maladaptive daydreaming seems to be a huge problem for many of us. Some people have struggled with it for years, and it can seriously affect our real lives our relationships, productivity, confidence, and mental health.
For me, one of the strangest parts is trying to understand why I daydream so heavily in the first place.
Is it an escape from anxiety, loneliness, stress, boredom, or dissatisfaction with real life? Is it because we struggled to integrate socially or emotionally at some point? Or does it eventually become a habit that our brain automatically returns to whenever we’re alone?
In my case, I’m actually a very social person. I can talk to people and enjoy being around others. But the moment I’m alone in my room, I can literally spend the entire day daydreaming. So I don’t think it’s as simple as just being socially isolated.
I’m curious about everyone else’s experiences.
What is your personal theory about what caused or maintains your maladaptive daydreaming? What triggers it the most? And what do you think are the key things that keep us locked inside our heads even when we know it’s hurting our real lives?
I’d especially like to hear from people who have thought deeply about the root cause of their daydreaming.

Recently watched a movie. Big movie that came out. Developed a crush on the lead actress... now my DDs are about me pursuing acting, having roles w said actress and her admiring me but me being impressive.

Insanely cringe and embarrassing. Currently in a rigorous grad program... have always low key wanted to try acting but obviously the chances of making it BIG are astronomically low, like I's rather go buy a lottery lmfao. But keeps me wondering what if... always wondering what if haha.

Anyway.. idk what to do. Obviously i cant quit my program and pursue it. Its just a crush so it will fade right? Idk if its associated w adhd as well (recently diagnosed)

Why do women get the biggest share of MDD?

I am starting to notice that the only thing that is stopping me from achieving the things I want is the dreaming. I am going to start treating my dreams into ideas. For example, I want a job, I am going to apply for it and keep applying to similar positions. I am no longer going to live in my head. Every positive dream will be fulfilled one by one. I will get married, I will travel, I will get my dream job, I will start my business, I will grow my social circle and I will win. I will start living in the present because nothing will ever change unless I change within myself. I am so tired of pretending like I have the stuff that I always wanted or that somehow magically it will happened. The only true barrier between achieving my dreams with my reality is that I am comfortable living in a made up dream world and it will only stop once I start to live in the moment.

It’s about time things change around here and I am going to change by letting go of something I have dealt with and lived with for so long. I know it’s not going to be easy and I know I will be letting go of a version of myself I created, but the only way to become the person I want to be is to let go of the maladaptive daydreaming.

Since I turned 13-14 my anxiety kicked into high gear (I was later diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder) and I needed an escape from all the stress so I turned to movies, television and YouTube to occupy my mind whenever I could. My days would usually involve going to school/work/extracurricular club and performing the bare minimum while actively chasing my daydreams before coming home and watching content for hours on end. Because of this, I got used to having constant dopamine intake and whenever life wasn’t fulfilling that need I would let my thoughts would take over.

I’m 19 now, about to start my Sophomore year of college and I’m starting to take some film and acting classes in addition to my major classes to try and address this long neglected need, but I still struggle with MD regularly. Since quitting YouTube and tv (I’ll still watch movies on occasion) I have been pacing and thinking whenever I have free time instead of developing the skills I want to, which kind of becomes a vicious cycle in which I hate myself for not being good enough at guitar/writing/making videos and I escape into a fantasy in which I am, thereby avoiding actually addressing the issue in the first place. I would love to hear from anyone who could provide some insight into how I can help myself, any response is appreciated.

I’ve heard of daydreamers have different types like success, heroism, etc. For some reason I’ve never had those, and only have had sexual daydreams. I create these scenarios and it’s always this common theme, and I’ve written it down even. And I enjoy writing because it sometimes actually makes it not as ruminating; putting it down on paper sort of clears it from my mind.

But I still find myself having it pop into my head randomly or imaging it; I feel weird about it because it’s sexual, and I know sexual daydreams are common, but LOL it’s annoying. And it’s frustrating because I obsess over it. I just wanted to know if anyone else has this too