u/Tricky-Meet-908

I discovered tulpas here connected to the immersive daydreaming sub.

I researched them and found out it can mean someone is plural or multiple. It's a bit confusing to be. I've heard how it can mean ppl have DID or MPD ect and r even dangerous as depicted in the media.

I kind of relate to this and don't, it's a lot to take in.

I think I see my characters as being created by my subconscious, I know they are not physically real, but after finding out about tulpas and spirits, I think it could be me a bit.

Problem is, I'm from the uk and we r not religious or spiritual here at all. Also, I don't want my dd to bc some weird mumbo jumbo new age stuff.

But it makes sense to me about how my characters could be spirits, something eternal, beyond death that protects me.

I'm scared of dying and losing my consciousness into oblivion where I won't exist anymore. But knowing my dd characters r spirits helps a lot. It makes sense to me a lot and is something I will possibly develop. It seems like a good explanation for what they r and what dd is.

I'm at an age where I need clarity and I don't like the chrisianity route ect and this way seems correct. It gives me a good feeling, like it will strengthen my dd, characters/spirits and myself. I don't want to think my dd wants to hurt me, it's not against me, it's just helped too much.

I read the book Extreme Imagination and just finished it in the early hours last night.

It was very hard reading it, it took 16 days. It was stop start bc im extremely Maladaptive right now and my md was triggered by every line I read. I'm probably dyslexic too so that doesn't help.

It was very harrowing process to physically read but also mentally and emotionally. I had a breakdown when I stopped I cried bad and felt suicidal.

This also coincides with poor health and dv in a unlivable situation. I found myself thinking I just wish I'd checked out.

It's good too, bc it was incredibly helpful and I'm not joking when I say it will change the course of my destiny and life forever.

Some of the emotions r also good not just bad. I'm incredibly grateful she wrote it and to others out there who do stuff like this. I can't recover without their help, so I'd probably be dead.

I just wanted to know bc I remember listening to him on the pod not knowing he was trans and then I found out he is when he confirmed he was trans by saying he was out and it was like a lightbulb moment. It's so important and awesome to have trans representation in our community.

I know he had mental health issues so I hope he's ok, like that he's still with us and all.

I'd love to know where he is and what he's doing now?🥹

Hi,

It's a bit of a hard question I know and probably uncomfortable for some ppl but I think it's a big part of ppls md and not a part spoken about very much.

I've read so much info and watched so many videos over the yrs now but it barely touches upon this subject.

Im talking about if u have dd about a fantasy partner like bf/gf like so many young ppl here have.

Also this condition can go hand in hand with masturbation and porn addiction/habit bc of the need for arousal alongside ur romantic dd.

I watch a lot of football, mainly women's and some men's. I end up mding about the issues that goes on in football like abuse in the game and so on.

These dd r very much victim based dd but can turn perpetrator dd as well.

It ruins the pleasure I get from womens football bc I just have md during matches, I end up zoning out and missing the entire thing. I actually watch lots of interviews on yt and news sites ect and read articles. I view more news content about it than watch actual matches.

I haven't even been to a match ever bc of anxiety ect. If I didn't md about it I probably would. I bought tickets once but never attended it bc of anxiety and stress.

This is also the same for other content. Right now I'm playing the last of us game and md about it sometimes. Not that much right now bc I already have dd it to death. I have watched the two tv series several times and the video game movie several.

My md has also ruined this and other media I watch and listen to like music ect.

Media isn't just that to me. It means content gathering time, researching,self inserting time ect.

The problem is if I just keep watching stuff basically I just turn it into md and that ruins it for me. I dd it to death and it bc boring and repetitive and makes me feel numb bc I've drained all the emotions out of it.

I am going on some sort of violent fast like I have done with media in the past. I suffer a lot with dark violent intrusive disturbing dd and I think it's bc of my current abusive living situation and the trauma of living as a trans and autistic person where I get very indignant att and then have to md to cope with this.

I won't go on a strict fast bc I actually want my violent dd to arise so I can analyse what's underneath them so I can stop them.

I will post later about my progress on this violent fast.

Although I have successfully reduced my music to less than an hour a day I haven't eliminated it. I'm not really aiming to. I still need it. What sort of person never listens to music or watches media again?

This is proof that fasting has helped me bc it reduced this and the dd that go with it. Listening to evocative angry dark music fuels my violent dd. I use music to soundtrack them and make them more intense like a dark movie or vr. Tbh I also don't really need music to md about violence as I said bf it happens naturally and is my go to default dd bc it's automatic bc of how stressful my life is. I have so many problems and demons.

Being a good person without a criminal record is why I don't feel worthless and why I still want to be me instead of dying or running away forever.

It's why I don't want to have violent dd bc I take things literally and have loop rigid thinking that could cause me to boil over and make mistakes. I've already made little mistakes but I don't want to make big ones.

I wonder if maladaptive daydreaming is my autistic obsession. I know I have content I dd about that I'm obsessed with. If you research autism it says u can have obsessions. Md consumes my life, and I think it could be my autistic obsession or otherwise a neurodivergent trait. I can't really think of anything else I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with reading the media and news articles for my dd but otherwise nothing. I'm a fan of football but not like my md or anything.

I wonder if maladaptive daydreaming is my autistic obsession. I know I have content I dd about that I'm obsessed with. If you research autism it says u can have obsessions. Md consumes my life, and I think it could be my autistic obsession or otherwise a neurodivergent trait. I can't really think of anything else I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with reading the media and news articles for my dd but otherwise nothing. I'm a fan of football but not like my md or anything.

For me 17 yrs since I was 18.

I discovered it had a name in 2015 when I was 24.

Ever since then I've tried to recover but failed.

I think I've needed it all this time so haven't stopped.

I'm doing better these days. I'm reading the book Extreme Imagination by Kyla Borcherds and it's helping a lot.

I have been learning more about md and how our dd and dd selves r what we want in real life. I got this info.drom a reliable resource btw.

But me, and many of us also have violent fantasies.

I struggled with this a lot as well as disturbing and intrusive dd that is probably anxiety.

I'm confused and conflicted atst bc I actually enjoy my violent dd and I know others do as well as me.

I read on Wikipedia that violence is a big theme in dd. It seems to be very prevalent and widespread in the communities dd.

To my point though, I read information about the obsession and fixation of violence in dd but actually I find it very rarely and seldomly discussed, which is a great shame, bc Id love to hear ppl talk about it more, bc it would be so insightful and interesting to know what others think about this.

I have gone through my media content like movies and tv shows yt vids and shorts, music and so on and I find the theme of violence very common. Its actually rarely not in any of my media content.

A personal insight from me is that I actually hate the crime genre where you might think this appears it's often things like marvel, dc or other popular action drama movies that contain this, which I've watched my entire life so I've been very exposed to this and it's well entrenched.

I think when I media fast I'm also fasting from the violent content that's a big part of my md.

One of the ways to recover from md is to bc ur dd self and get that life in ur dd, but not literally, such as the violent part, unless u fancy prison.

I have literal and rigid and loop thinking bc I'm neuro divergent and possibly autistic, which fuels md and I worry bc I take things literally like the intrusive disturbing violent side.

As I said I don't like crime or the genre so I feel confused and conflicted about this.

U don't have to help me or feel pressured to say things ur uncomfortable with. I'd just like to know ur thoughts that's all.

Thanks mders😀

It's hard to read bc of attention problems and I often listen to books.

Lots of dd here can't or don't read books so they might miss it.

I recently listened to another book called Maladaptive daydreaming is my addiction on audible and got through it in two days just on walks.

The paperback version of extreme imagination has taken me over a week already and I'm not done yet.

It's brilliant btw and I highly recommend everyone read it.

Hi,

I just typed in Maladaptive daydreaming songs on YouTube and amazon music and I found this.

It's a really brilliant song about maladaptive daydreaming, also it's very musical and doesn't sound like a crap mechanically engineered song like chart pop music does these days.

https://youtu.be/5DhR\_s\_\_Klc?

I searched into ChatGPT and found this. I've heard of it bf and heard ppl say they even have the aphantasia version when they dd.

When I was a 5-6 yr old in infant school my teacher asked how many sides does a rectangle have and I immediately visioned in my mind/imagined the rectangle like a dark blue one floating in space.

Ever since I can remember I've always had a very visual mind and I think I could have this.