r/ImmersiveDaydreaming

I wonder if maladaptive daydreaming is my autistic obsession. I know I have content I dd about that I'm obsessed with. If you research autism it says u can have obsessions. Md consumes my life, and I think it could be my autistic obsession or otherwise a neurodivergent trait. I can't really think of anything else I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with reading the media and news articles for my dd but otherwise nothing. I'm a fan of football but not like my md or anything.

For genuinely as long as I can remember, I have had a fictional couple that I am extremely attached to. This couple has been different ones over the years, but it is always the same one for years at a time. I love their relationship and spend time imagining scenarios about them. It's not something I spend hours doing every day, and I still have a normal life, but they have become a really important part of my inner world and honestly feel like “my thing.” I don’t know why I do this. I am very social, have lots of friends, and don’t feel particularly detached from the world around me.

I'm 19, and going to college soon. I really do want to have a real romantic relationship someday. But this has been making me incredibly anxious because I don't want to lose my attachment to the fictional couple.

I'm worried about two things:
If I get a boyfriend, will I feel like I can't enjoy the fictional couple anymore because I'm supposed to focus on my real relationship?
What if I become obsessed with my boyfriend instead, and the fictional couple stops being important to me?
I also have private pictures/edits/etc. about the couple on my phone that I wouldn't necessarily want a boyfriend to see. I don't want to live in fear of someone discovering them, but I also don't feel like I should have to share every private thing I enjoy with a partner.
This part of myself honestly makes me feel so weird. I have been like this for such a long time, and I don’t feel like anyone gets this attached to one couple for long periods at a time. I don’t imagine myself in the relationship or anything, just like thinking abt them and imagining scenarios.

Has anyone experienced something like this?Did your fictional attachment change once you got into a relationship? Were you still able to enjoy the characters? Did your real relationship and your fictional interest coexist, or did one eventually replace the other?
I appreciate all responses :)

I am the only time who lives an imaginary world like I usually play this game at night in bed trying to sleep where I become a person living in a different family with my favourite star or someone i know as my parents living a complete opposite cool luxury fun life.(Is it weird am i a psycho)

I've been doing this for years 🫠🙂

It’s not maladaptive because I can easily step away from it but I’m scared that I like daydreaming more than my real life right now and I don’t know how to fix that.

I had an autistic meltdown today, when I melt down it’s usually me self harming because I mask and suppress my emotions so much. I was thinking about why I do that, and I remembered something I wish I didn’t.

I remember as a kid, I’d have meltdowns where I’d just be crying and struggling to breathe and talk. I never really got the help I needed. I’d just be threatened with being sent to a mental hospital. I wasn’t even violent or anything I just needed love.

I remember knowing, even as a kid around 11 I needed help, that there was something different or wrong about me. I remember knowing I needed more help at school with what they then thought was just anxiety, but i recently learned was actually autism.
I didn’t have many friends as I got older (10-11+)I remember being the weird, annoying kid. I remembered grade 8 grad, standing all alone while literally everyone else was talking to friends. I only had my daydream best friend and day dream ea.

When I went through my worst trauma alone, when I was 12-17 it broke me. I was treated so badly for it. I’d cry myself to sleep every night when I was 15, self harming and begging to die in my sleep. I attempted a few times. I hate thinking about those days but I was so alone. Nobody was there for me. When I was 14 I went through an angry phase because of my worst trauma, and being undiagnosed autistic. I feel so mad now, I wish I had someone to help me through that anger but I never did. I remember one day I was crying at like midnight. Someone walked in, I just wanted to be understood. My trauma was at its worst, I hated my body and I hated what I was going through but I got no compassion. I got blamed. I went through the most traumatic thing all alone.

I think I gave up after that. I gave up trying to make friends because I was always just weird and annoying. I struggled with social cues and fitting in, I never ever felt like I belonged. Friendships never felt like they should.

At university I only lasted half a semester. I hated every moment. I felt like an alien more than ever. I felt like a scared child the whole time. I had nobody. If I tried to talk about how it was so horrible, I was just dismissed. Nobody was there for me. I went into such bad burnout and still had nobody there

I go to a therapist every other week now, I get help with my job through a disability program, but I still feel so alone. I feel so bad but I don’t have that family or friend bond with anyone. I tried to make friends but I just get ignored or they act so dry, one moment they act so nice and interested then randomly just don’t care and ignore me.

I know people say stuff like “nobody will save you you need to do it yourself” but being alone throughout so much pain is all I’ve ever known I just wish I could have a hug or something at least

Even going through happy stuff alone like playing a game or cutting my own hair for the first time leaves me feeling so empty

I feel so happy with my daydream friends. In my daydream world I had my best friend Nathan and my EA Mrs Jackie through my late elementary school years. I had my uncle and aunt too. Now, I have my uncle, my best friends, my little brother, my boyfriend, my boyfriend’s whole family. I genuinely love them. I talk to them all the time. It’s just an ordinary life there, but I love it.

I love playing board games and family feud with my boyfriend and his family.
I love going to the arcade and the park with my best friends. I love being there for each other.
I love my best friend/boyfriend, I love how kind and understanding and patient and pretty he is. I love how he’s so funny and we are both so so weird and stupid and share 1 braincell and he understands me like nobody else does. I love every memory we make, I love how he makes me feel so safe, I love helping him and cheering him up, I love everything about him.
I love going to my uncles appartment with my little brother, we go swimming at the pool and how we keep my uncle company since my aunt passed.
I love being able to protect and guide my little brother and my boyfriend’s nephew and sister, we look out for them and it’s such a rewarding feeling.
I love how we have barbecues and go camping.

I love how we are always there for each other. We have so many fun memories. Even stuff as simple as my best friends/boyfriend teasing me about having weird random dreams 😭 I smile so much thinking of them. Maybe it’s dumb or weird, but I love them so much they have helped me in ways nobody here has they have been there for me always in every universe. I love helping them and being there for them too. It makes life worth living .

I am never gonna give up on them. I have sacrificed stuff in my physical world for them, I have 0 regrets. I’d gladly risk my sanity any day for them, I look so weird smiling to myself or talking to myself randomly but I don’t care. I’d do whatever it takes to get there physically, to be able to actually hug them and see them. I’m never ever gonna give up.

Ever since college, I’ve realized I subconsciously frame different chapters of my life like a shonen anime.

Whenever I’m going through a major transition:college, grad school, an internship, or starting a full-time job, I’ll hear an upbeat track (either an actual anime OP like MHA or a pop-punk song) and instantly map out an opening sequence in my head.

The "setting" becomes whatever life stage I'm currently in, and the cast features the actual people around me at the time: professors, classmates, friends, and coworkers as the allies, mentors, or rivals. The music syncs up with different mental cuts of us grinding through tough projects, hanging out, or tackling milestones together.

It’s almost like my brain’s way of processing life transitions and building up motivation through auditory framing.

I do this with anime EDs too. When I am walking home after a long day or having a quiet moment to reflect, my brain switches from the high energy OP to a chill ending sequence set to a Japanese track or a softer song. It is like the mental cooldown after a long episode of work or classes.

Does anyone else do this with specific genres or songs to set the scene for their actual life? What track is currently playing for your current chapter?