u/anonymousshithead1

I have had one online affair before and one long distance affair where we would see each other few months. Neither ended badly, exOAP got divorced and decided to enjoy single life, exAP couldn't habdle the guilt but we had a good connection we decided to stay friends and it's worked for us. So once in a while I'll check in with both of them or both of them will check in with me. Haven't spoken to either in a couple of weeks.

Last night both of them texted me to ask how I'm doing.

How am I doing? Well my AP told me he loves me last night. I can't tell anyone how happy I am, but I'm feeling pretty incredible.

Remember that scene in friends where Chandler kisses Monica, before anyone knows about them, and then he has to kiss everyone else as well to play it off?

Let's just say everyone in the office got their ass slapped today. Ya know, to play it off.

I've only really had two affairs, and the first one lasted 6 months, and in those 6 months we had 3 nights together. Which was partly the distance, partly schedules, partly effort. It was always just tough to make things work. It was doomed from the start really.

After that, 18 months of celibacy, and then I stumbled into this one.

It's still long distance, but not so far, and our schedules line up better, and he does everything he can to make sure our schedules line up. In 7 weeks we've spent 9 nights together. And every single one has been incredible.

And now it's been a week since I last saw him and we have to wait until the end of this week for our schedules to line up again, and it sucks! I miss him! I am not a patient person, waiting is not something I'm good at!

Anyway counting down the days and hoping this week goes by quickly.

I accept responsibility for my part in my marriage going to shit. I work, a lot. And I travel a lot for work. I was just gone for a week, I got home yesterday, I leave again Monday, I'll be gone again until next weekend.

It's not easy work, it's exhausting, so when I have two full days at home and my husband is.... I dont know actually. Maybe hes having some drinks with colleagues right now, maybe he's golfing, I dont know. Either way, he ain't at home with me.

So should I feel bad about extending my trip next week so I can spend a night with the guy who is talking to me right now, and does call me every day, and makes me smile like crazy? I know I'll regret it if I dont extend and I end up spending the day at home alone while the husband is off doing whatever he's doing. So no I dont feel bad.

That's it that's all. I'm fucked (in all the best and the worst ways).