u/anonymouswitch444

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I feel like I might be overthinking this and wanted outside opinions.

My mom recently asked to pick up my 4-year-old son this weekend, which I was fine with. I don’t mind her taking him locally for a few hours or spending time with him during the day.

But then she said she was planning to take him to Georgia (about 4–5 hours away) and keep him overnight.

I immediately said no. I don’t allow overnights at all right now, even in town, so I don’t understand why she would assume it would be okay to take him that far away overnight.

She got upset and hung up the phone after I said no.

For context:

I do not allow overnight stays right now

I’m okay with same-day visits and local outings

I’m not comfortable with out-of-state overnights

My mom also tends to compare situations and other grandparents, like what she was allowed to do when raising us or what others in the family are allowed to do. For example, she compares herself to my stepdad’s sister, who is younger (around 21) and has a very different lifestyle stage, where she’s more comfortable letting her mom take her young child overnight or for trips. But I’m 30 now, I’m not in that same stage of life, and I don’t have the same comfort level with overnights or out-of-state trips.

Now I’m second guessing myself because of her reaction, but I feel like this is a pretty reasonable boundary

Am I wrong for this?

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I don’t even know how to say this without sounding like a horrible mom, but I need to get it out somewhere because I feel like I’m going crazy.

I LOVE my kids. Let me say that first. I love them more than anything. But I am so burnt out from motherhood that I feel like I’m turning into a completely different person and I hate it.

I am ALWAYS on. There is no break. No quiet. No “clocking out.” I wake up taking care of people and I go to sleep taking care of people. Someone is always crying, needing something, touching me, asking me for food, help, attention, or just straight up chaos.

And I’m exhausted. Like deep, bone-deep exhaustion.

Today I spent all day doing everything — feeding kids, cleaning, managing everything — and then my toddler REFUSED to eat dinner for 20 minutes and then threw up all over me. And something in me just snapped internally. Not at her, just like… mentally I hit a wall. I was DONE.

And what makes it worse is my partner just doesn’t get it. He sees me irritated and goes “is your period coming?” like I’m some emotional mess instead of just a completely burnt out human being carrying everything. Like no… I’m not hormonal, I’m just OVERWHELMED.

I feel like I’ve lost myself completely since becoming a mom. I became a mom young and I just never got to be ME for very long before my entire identity turned into “caretaker.”

And I’m going to be real… sometimes it feels like I’m not just raising kids, I’m raising another adult too because I’m also constantly picking up slack there.

I love my family, but I am not okay. I miss having a life. I miss silence. I miss feeling like a person and not just a service provider.

So I guess I’m asking — does anyone else feel like this? Or am I just a bad mom?

My 4-year-old was diagnosed with oral thrush today and I'm trying to figure out how likely it is that his inhaled steroid contributed.

He uses fluticasone with a spacer. I recently realized that although we brush his teeth after his inhaler, we haven't been consistently having him rinse his mouth afterward. I also noticed visible white medication residue built up inside the spacer, and I'll admit I haven't cleaned it in a few weeks.

He actually had thrush once before when he was around 1 year old, but at that time he was on the same inhaled steroid and was also taking antibiotics. He hasn't had thrush at all in the 3 years since then.

For parents of kids on inhaled steroids or anyone familiar with pediatric asthma treatment: does this sound like a pretty typical inhaler-related thrush situation? Has anyone had a child develop thrush despite using a spacer? Or anyone in general?

Just looking for some perspective because I was under the impression that using a spacer made thrush very unlikely.