Autistic burnout and longing for social connection
Hey, I need some support, kind words and tips.
I've got two kids (5 and 8) and life has been extremely demanding since their birth. Both have their own special needs; the youngest is extremely smart, social and stubborn. However, he got a spinal injury from illness that results in quite a lot of extra care. The oldest is likely ND. He's found quite well now, but still has trouble socializing and no real friends which results in him always being at home (and never quiet).
Our support network is small, not a lot of family or friends nearby and my wife and I are exhausted. My wife stopped working to become the primary caretaker (because of the extra needs of the youngest we also have to go to his school twice a day for extra care). When at home I do a lot if the care as well.
My work currently is also a mess. After a takeover most of my old team left, we got a new manager that I don't gel with (and who only looks at productivity while burning out the rest of my colleagues as well).
My wife and I have been burned out for a long time now. Done a lot to try and improve it, but every place I got right now demands energy. This has put a lot of strain on the relationship between my wife and me as well. We are in therapy, but it's going to take time.
The toughest thing right now is that I'm tired and after the kids are in bed I can't handle social interactions at all. Same for my wife right now. However, I desperately crave social connection and I feel that I need this to recover at the same time. Running helps partially, but it feels like there is a giant hole where my soul should be. Like I'm empty..