u/anxiousthrowawaylass

I am young and Aboriginal but i am likely being a bit rude, sorry to anyone who I might upset but I have no idea where to talk about this.

I want to start off with saying I know its wrong, I know my thought is ignorant and I feel like crap for having it but I dont know what to do about this feeling or how to stop it. This is a lot of me to ask while also writing this but please try to not be too rude in comments, I beat myself up about this for years already and I just dont know what else to do. Its a very unfair thought, I know that and still it plagues me and makes me feel really alone for not being able to do something about it.

I feels so jealous that other indigenous people are more welcomed in Australia than Native Australians, have detailed cultural regalia, able to speak their language with only a few unclear understandings, have buildings and history that isnt questioned much anymore, have celebrations that are loved without modern influence, inventions that are widely regarded to what specific tribe made them, arent feeling like they're clinging at straws in claiming their culture is here.

I know its not easy, I know it wasnt always the case and I know that there's so much hard work and I admire that about every culture that has been heavily colonised but why is it when I try to learn or see things about indigenous culture feels so intentionally ambiguous and I want to make it absolutely clear that I am so genuinely happy that other cultures are safe here and know so much about themselves, I just wish I were the same.

It sucks so much, I know its not our fault of course and that not sharing information is how especially the older generations are trying to protect whats left, it makes total sense as to why but i am struggling so hard to outwardly represent or embrace my culture without it being dot painting patterns that come from Papunya on a polyester shirt. I always admired the girls in class during highschool that had Pounamu (maori) on and felt like I was lacking that connection. I would wish that I had something so significant to wear from my culture

Maybe it's because i am white looking and always had to find a way to "prove" i love my culture but I always get so sad that I dont know much about my tribes and our practices because we always hear that Aboriginal people have such a diverse culture and while I know its true it saddens me that so much of it is being left behind or already forgotten and now for the younger generations its so damn hard to find anything especially specifics on a tribal group or for some to even trace what groups it was for them in the first place.

I live so far away from my tribe, I dont know anyone who would be willing to tell me about it and I cant find much online even after hours apon hours over the course of years about a lot of the meaningful stuff and it makes sense why but it also feels like i have this flimsy thread to my culture and that is the most i will ever get to embrace it becuase im not "in the know" if that makes sense. It probably doesn't, how can someone be envious of another culture while loving their own whole heartedly?

Anyway i am ranting, I know its annoying and I know i should've just shut up and kept it to myself but i am going to post this anyway just incase anyone relates or understands or maybe even knows how to not feel like this? Im sorry, it feels like I am behaving as a spoiled brat thats like being dragged to a cultural event instead of one that wants to know but I promise that its the ladder. I want to care and represent so much of my culture and have it involved in my life beyond retail items that have our patterns or symbols but it feels so selfish to voice because I know where I come from but I don't really know anything.

I dont want to make anyone angry but this is a disrespectful thought so I sincerely hope this isnt used maliciously towards anyone I just am struggling so much from it being stuck in my head with so much guilt because i know its not right. Im honestly really scared to press post so I am procrastining by still writing because people could rightfully be upset at me for it, I just dont want someone to take any of this as myself feeling shame towards my culture when its not what I feel.

Hi i am a 17 year old girl and this is for the parents out there. I want to start off that this will have a lot of sensitive topics and I am being very vulnerable right now so please be kind in what you reply with. This is not an attack to anyone or any parents, i understand social media especially is very hard to navigate, my generation was the first to see how growing up with new tech would actually effect people so I dont hold anything against a lot of the parents of these kids. I understand i am quite young, you may not take this post seriously because of that but I am asking that you please read all the way through if you have kids or even younger siblings.

After I was away from school for a while and went back i noticed a few things

1. Peers don't really understand stuff online

2. Parents are likely unaware how common bigotry is

3. Teenage boys especially feel demonised and have gotten into a lot of dark parts of the internet

4. Most teenagers don't really understand consent or what does and doesn't count as sexual abuse.

5. Even some parents ignore warning signs like edgy jokes not thinking deeper into it like where they got that humour from.

I know this subreddit isnt exactly a fan of "wokeness" and i am very much that but this isnt exclusive to one type of belief and I've had it happen in my own circles. At the end of the day I chose to believe that no matter if you understand the lgbt, immigrants or disabled people we are all aiming to understand our world best we can even if sometimes people end up confused or overwhelmed. I am getting tested for autism because I am extremely strict in my morals so its very hard for me to be patient to others that might not see something wrong with what they're doing but I am really trying my best here to be as compassionate and welcoming as possible because this seems like something we need to intervene with as a group and I feel really helpless even after how much I've tried to fix things myself. I will just say that a lot of this is about teenage boys, I am sort of venting and I don't mean to be biased but I feel like I may not be able to keep out emotions from all of it so I apologise in advance.

Teenage boys are getting more sexist. I know of course we live in a very new world already, much better than 50 years ago, im aware. But its not perfect. It seems to be that there's a big spike in manosphere content teenage boys especially are consuming. Now before you think "well not my son" i am begging you to reconsider because it is likely that he has engaged with it too because its sneaky so please keep reading. While I understand there's negative feelings people feel about the word feminism but feminism is a huge benefit to everyone everywhere, it is not prioritising women over men. Because the world is still balancing out how women and men are viewed it of course would feel like oppression to one put in a benefiting position but also its because men aren't being taught what feminism is or what it's done for men aswell and I am sadly seeing the results of that in my peers. This is a very widespread issue in Australia and its not just one group of mean boys in school, it keeps happening. I have had them say feminists hate men, want them to die, see all men as all being monsters, oppress men. I have had so many interactions where they're confusing terfs with actual feminism and I also have a feeling the word misandery is a big part of that. Boys are finding out the word misandery, most of the time the environment that brings up this word are usually a bit redpilled or insecure and don't understand what misandery actually is. Its gotten to a point so many of them are convinced that men are being targeted by women, women are privileged, patriarchy isnt real ect. These forums and creators are preying on insecurity and its just getting worse. Ive had guys tell me that they have higher beauty standered than women, that they have to be 6ft and they need to be muscular and while yeah for a small percentage its true, it's a much bigger issue of being an affect of gender norms than women. I am actively seeing these guys say that misandry is denying men can be victims or allowed to cry not realising that it is quite literally misogyny or patriarchal thinking they are upset about and if i try to explain they immediately shut down as if its a personal attack or that I'm saying women can't do wrong. Even guys that seem to understand feminism still make excuses for why their friend calls women females and foids or slut shames at the drop of a hat. There's this guy who always goes on about how men have so much higher expectations and then the same fucking day he leaks a girls nudes because she didn't want to put out anymore. So many guys don't know that coercion is also rape. I know of course a lot of parents would immedietly think its not their son but it happens so often even I've had guys threaten to hurt themselves if I didnt send nudes and luckily I'm a girl that doesn't believe them or care if they did but I've had so many friends that did and then the guys starts feeling bad but instead of realising something was wrong with his actions he will literally say "stop acting like that you're making me feel like an abuser" IVE LITERALLY HAD THAT SAID TO ME. These guys don't realise what they're doing, they don't understand consent either and they don't realise that catcalling girls is harassment because its "not that deep" then they don't understand why they feel like they've done something wrong and do mental gymnastics to void any guilt or responsibilities. If you are a parent ask your kid about women please and just see how they behave. Jokes about "fucking bitches" "I'm gonna touch you" "femcels" "lolcows" and racism to their friends are some examples that you should stop and think "where are they getting this from?" Please if you do question them do it very subtly because they know well enough to not act like that infront of parents or people they respect so obviously it's not that they're completely clueless. I know of course it's not all teenage boys and sadly some girls are also going down the same route of "im not a feminist" or judging other girls especially if they dont look normal like maybe someone's emo maybe they have disordered eating sides of social media which those spaces really really push a lot of subtle racism aswell as misogyny i would absolutely consider that a red flag. This isnt just a small thing its happening so much that I am genuinely worried for when I grow up and I basically gave up on ever dating or getting married unless it changes because its so difficult to figure out just how deep this stuff runs and I am so damn sad about the lack of role models for guys that actually talk about this stuff and what is and isnt okay/how to prevent it. I think there was a movie called adolescents that was really good at showing how it was a boy who learned that if he is interested in a girl than she must be grateful and owe him something. I also ask that if your kid knows about the horror movie obsession PLEASE ask them what they think about Bear who's the main guy because the amount of people not realising he was a rapist is so concerning and really showed that we need to have a conversation about consent. Incase you weren't aware, Australia is the 2nd highest consumer of child exploitive material. Population wise for the demand we are number 1. 1 in 3 men admit to finding someone under 18 sexually attractive, 1 in 12 under 13. 1 in 6 overall admitted that if there were no consequences they wouldve wanted to act on it. Dont be afraid to make things awkward by calling out your mates on weird behaviour, dont be mates if you can't feel comfortable leaving him alone with someone or at the very least try to get them some form of help to get their head on straight. No one thinks someone close to them would ever be one of those people but statistically it's why people turn a blind eye to odd behaviours.