u/appl3_eye

As the title suggests, I am not sure what to do. I gave birth to my son on 12/7. The AGI for my husband and I is $102,000 (which is less than last year, $102,293). My husband filed for unemployment from December until May, it wasn’t his fault just terrible timing. I was on maternity leave for six months, which was difficult as my maternity leave checks had to pay for our families health insurance. My work lets us take the time off, but it doesn’t cover health insurance.

In short, even with my husband back at work and doing my part as well, I genuinely do not have $500 a month of extra income and I don’t understand why my monthly payments jumped so significantly when our income is lower.

My rectification date is 7/12, so less than a week away. I’m on the PAYE plan with PSLF since I work for a nonprofit, but even lowest payment option is $500 for me.

I would appreciate any advice, thank you. I’m trying not to spiral here.

As the title suggests, I am not sure what to do. I gave birth to my son on 12/7. The AGI for my husband and I is $102,000 (which is less than last year, $102,293). My husband filed for unemployment from December until May, it wasn’t his fault just terrible timing. I was on maternity leave for six months, which was difficult as my maternity leave checks had to pay for our families health insurance. My work lets us take the time off, but it doesn’t cover health insurance.

In short, even with my husband back at work and doing my part as well, I genuinely do not have $500 a month of extra income and I don’t understand why my monthly payments jumped so significantly when our income is lower.

My rectification date is 7/12, so less than a week away. I’m on the PAYE plan with PSLF since I work for a nonprofit, but even lowest payment option is $500 for me.

I would appreciate any advice, thank you. I’m trying not to spiral here.

Edit: the reason is because we filed jointly. Thank you to everyone who offered advice.

Hello, I posted on here when I was three months postpartum. I am now a little over six months, learning that balance between work life, my personal life and mom life.

I’m doing much better overall, and I appreciate the support that I’ve received on here. Since my last post, I have been putting a lot of effort into my own mental health, not just for my family- but also for myself. I know that we are all strangers on the internet, but this community has genuinely helped me. Again, I am very grateful and I sincerely thank you.

I’m not at the place where I have the emotional capacity to handle my own mother, but she does seem to be doing better. I have returned to work two weeks ago, so I am still finding my footing. My mother is very new into her recovery (not even two months- which is huge for her but extremely recent) and I have not initiated contact with her in over four years. I know of her recovery because I still receive her voicemails, despite her being blocked. She also mailed me her coins from Alcoholics Anonymous.

At some point, I may want to try to reconnect with her. I have to prioritize my son, so I wouldn’t be involving him immediately/if at all. I grew up in the shadow of my mother’s moods, and I can’t let that happen to him.

I know that there are people who have relationships with their addict parents, and I struggle to put myself in that perspective. What happens if the addict parent shows up to your kiddos birthday party and isn’t appropriate? How do you explain these grandparents to your little one?

In the past, I endeared myself to my mother to avoid her wrath. Motherhood has changed me, so I’m less worried about that. I am strong because I am my son’s mother, and I’ll never bend when it comes to that. Still, I struggle with understanding how one navigates a relationship with a toxic grandparent in a healthy way. I’ve seen it and heard of it on here- but I don’t have enough context.

TLDR- I am a new mother, and I have a toxic mother. My toxic mother has made very recent strides in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I may want to reconnect in the future. Could I please hear your experience on reconnecting with your alcoholic parent, and how you navigated that? I would like to make an attempt at reconciliation but will always place my son first (so it would be with very cautious baby steps, until I feel safe with her).