My wife wants my properties in alimony, after I had to compromise so many times. Is this islamically correct?
I’m 36M, my wife is 35F. We’ve been married for 10 years and have a 5-year-old child. We both work, but there is a pretty massive difference in our incomes. I earn significantly more, and pay for all expenditures.. (Every single thing and even her own non obligatory expenses)
A stupid argument about investments was kind of the breaking point for me. I wanted to put around 20% of my savings into stocks from which I have made major gains even since before marriage. My wife wanted gold and land instead. I told her that since the money was primarily earned by me and we were already financially secure; I should have the final say in how I invested as long as I provided for them. And this isn't even the first time I've felt like my opportunities have been sacrificed for her preferences. She ended up moving all the money to her own account and there was a pretty bad confrontation over that.
I've had two opportunities over the years where accepting a promotion would have put me on a much faster career trajectory, only condition being relocating. She refused to move because she wanted to remain close to her parents. I ultimately turned both opportunities down.. I had literally relocated to her hometown for her job and now she mostly works from home and it would just cost a 35 min more to travel
I don't even know if she realizes how much that affected me. It feels like whenever there was a choice between my career and her preferred lifestyle, I was expected to compromise. She is also verbally abusive and curses me and sometimes acts physical.
Then there is the part I find hardest to get over. For the last couple of years, our relationship has been slowly fading. She puts in no effort to improve anything and believes in "it's my job to buy her gifts and plan every single event like dates, anniversaries, birthdays or any holidays". She also does not even do half of the chores; I have to repeatedly do like most cleaning and laundry. Cooking is like always on me on weekends. During this period I discovered that she had close chats with some male co-workers, they were not sexual but not harmless either. At this point I don't want to spend another ten years trying to repair something I don't think can be repaired. I told her I want a divorce. Also the thing is, I have done martial counselling but she did not change and refused to participate long in it.
Now she's asking for alimony, a portion of the house, and a portion of my stocks/investments if I want to seek divorce. Hearing this I don't even wanna be with her anymore. She is an only child and her parents own a house which she will eventually inherit anyway. So from my perspective, it's not like she is going to be left without a place to live or any family support. And now that I want out, I'm being told that I still owe her financially on top of everything else.
For those familiar with Islam, is her asking for alimony and a share of the house/stocks Islamically and morally correct in a situation like this? And from a general moral standpoint, am I being unreasonable for feeling resentful about all of this and wanting to walk away?
EDIT: We had the alimony talk in June, she probably wanted to threaten me but we haven't had any such convo till now after that.