u/ashacw

I find it difficult to love my body, all thr advice i ever see online is just illusions to look like you have another body shape that id more acceptable like having a pear body shape or a hourglass figure. I'm not even fat either, im considered petite in fashion or whatever like below 5'4 and I weigh 127lbs which is perfectly normal or healthy for my age since im a teenager anyway. All thr advice i ever see is just how to hide your waistline or how to look skinnier. I feel fat like I have a short neck snd broad shoulders and I have soft facial features as well, like a baby face or whatever so it makes it look weird since it doesnt go with the aesthetic of my body. I wish I had more hips or something but they go inward like hip dips and are narrow. I like wearing baggy jeans and a lot of layers or heavy fabrics because it makes me feek safe in my body, I dont like showing my skin to avoid criticism or feeling vulnerable. I am also very, very hairy. Like I have hair on my face, I wonder if I have pcos or whatever its called when you have higher testosterone than usual. Yet it contradicts what people tell me saying I look like a "doll" and I look so "beautiful" because of my very long eyelashes or the baby face I have. It all feels like a whiplash. The thing is I feel like a werewolf but I wanna try to love myself with my body hair, not just feeling pressured to shave to be seen as acceptable or whatever in thr norm.

I like wearing baggy clothing but my mom says id look fatter with that and im not reallt fat either but im also not skinny like flat stomach skinny, thats the only thing that makes me feek safe in my skin anyway. I also like long skirts because they make me feel safe, same thing with sweaters, I have a lot of them. I really like some 70s inspired clothing and styles that are with heavy fabrics and dark colors, not because they are exactly supooseed to make me look skinny but because I feel like myself. I likr a lot of whimsical lookiing clothing, vintage stuff. But sometimes I feel like it looks a lot better on people who sre skinny and narrow than me considering my height is 154cm.......the thing is I never really seen as much body positivity to apple shaped women, my mom has the body shape, she is considered overweight though in a medical setting, im like average or whatwver for my age. I just look fat since I carry it on my upper body, if I had it on my lower body id look way better. Most of the clothinf I like usually looks more "flattering" on pears. I just feel like most of the advice aiming to people who have body types like me is like "loose weight lol" and you maybe only ever see a apple body shape but with a very loe body fat percentage with a very lean shape that id usually donr in the gym with a very flat stomach.

I think id just wish there was more appreciation to women with this body shape, its always thosw who have an hourglass figure or pear shape that is considered sensual by thr majority but thr moment its in the "wrong" place, all a sudden its ugly. And I know in a medical setting this body type would probably get some criticisms considering I always see online its the most unhealthy one or whatever. I feel like id have to do so much over compensation for it by going in thr gym constantly to not be seen as lazy or fat. Im a medium in clothing, i can be a small in clothing if I want it fitted but I rarely ever do that, women's sizing sometimes doesnt make sense cuz i can wear any size and sometimes I have to change it based off thr brand. And thr thing is the apple body shape is sometimes even considered masculinr since men have it the majority of the time, so it might feel worse for those who already are insecure of themselves and just wanna be considered beautiful even if its just for themselves. Like what if it was the opposite with a guy having a pear body shape and him being insecure about it because its mostly seen in women? Things like that. With how we interpret femininity and masculinity, it all feels so fragile. In some eras in history having a soft stomach and a bigger chest can be seen as feminine, it mostly is with hips but having soft features is seen as desirable.

Anyways...I just wanted to...vent or rant about this, it was all just a ramble. If anyone feels like this or something just comment below...id like to hear yalls thoughts on this...