I had a different fantasy
TW: child abduction
I hear a lot in this subreddit about people fantasizing about being hurt or sick so they could finally get some attention for once. While I had that fantasy too, I had a darker one in addition.
Before anyone goes on to lecture me about how serious and awful kidnapping is, yes, I know it is awful, but this was a childhood fantasy, and children are not known for their logic, nor are they known for their complete understanding of the horror humanity is capable of.
My home life growing up was utter hell. So much so that being locked up in someone's dark basement seemed like a vacation to my child brain. I would be alone for long stretches at a time, and I could potentially get some sleep. I didn't think I'd be missed because, in spite of my parents saying they loved me, their actions (or rather, lack of) and criticisms told me differently. Between the noise, the embarrassment, the disgust, the violence, the destruction, the screaming and wailing, the daily reprimands I would get from my own family for not doing enough or not acting the way a big sister with an autistic sibling should, my sister taking every bit of food she wanted straight off my plate, and no real escape from it at the time, I would dream of some sort of rescue every minute I was with my family. Someone, anyone, to take me away, but no one I knew outside my family would intervene when I told them what was happening in my home.
So I started hoping someone would grab my hand while I was out shopping with my family while my mom was distracted managing my sister's meltdowns at the grocery store or mall, or that someone would break into the car I was left in with my sibling because the babysitter quit and Mom and Dad needed marriage counseling.
I learned I wasn't going to get a knight in shining armor, and I didn't know what CPS was, but if someone was finally going to get me away from my family, I would not have fought them. I would have gone with them willingly.