i'm so done.
i (18f) honestly just need to vent rn because i'm literally sitting in the bathroom crying and i want to leave this house so bad.
my parents are stuck in this super toxic loop and i'm always the one forced to be their shock absorber. dad is super misogynistic and emotionally absent. mom is dealing with so much heavy shit with him (won't get into it but it's bad).
the problem is she's in total denial about her marriage and uses me as her emotional crutch. but the second i call out the reality, like how they're literally always screaming at each other (mostly dad screaming at mom and her just adjusting because of his actions), she completely flips on me.
they create all this chaos, take zero responsibility, then play victim when i get exhausted by their drama. today everything just boiled over.
mom called me but i genuinely didn't hear her. she came storming in screaming that no one in this house helps her and we're all useless. (and tbh i do get where she's coming from, she carries the entire mental/physical load of the house and it's draining her).
i got up right away and turned on the robot (house cleaning wala) to help. meanwhile my brother said something and my nerves were already completely shot so i snapped and yelled at him.
grandpa was watching the whole thing and went all sarcastic like "if there was a shouting competition you'd easily come first." i was so fed up i just shot back "well yeah i was born to people who shout constantly what do you expect?"
mom got insanely hurt by that. suddenly she pulls out the "samskaram" card and acts like i'm horribly disrespectful.
they just immediately wanted to play victim. it's so much easier for them to use me as a punching bag than to look in the mirror and admit their environment made me like this. i grew up watching them scream at each other. basic understanding is just nonexistent.
i love my mom and dad so much. but at the same time i just dislike what they do. it sucks feeling like i had to mature at such a young age just to survive these people.