u/awykka

im 24, and 21w pregnant with my first ever child. with my ex, off an on for 5 years. we’ve been mostly off for the last two almost, but still seen each other from time to time. well i got pregnant by him, and made a post here a while ago due to it.

all i’m going to say is if you are in a situation similar to me and you’re initial reaction and gut feeling is to terminate, because you think its whats best for you, listen to yourself. you know yourself best.

i didn’t listen to myself, and i’m setting up my daughter and i for a world of hurt with this man as her father. he wanted me to abort, he came around later on when he realized there was nothing he could do. and then is now messing with a girl who already has a kid, yet he barely wants anything to do with his own. he wants her around, but not to help with anything. we were exclusive, even through being on/off, until now. and i’m 21weeks.

i have always paid for everything. he is unemployed and still lives with his mom. he is 22. he will not be able to provide anything for her anytime soon, and his priorities seem to be going to clubs and this girl he’s been talking to. hurts to see him be there for someone else’s kid when he won’t be there for his own.

thing is, i really hate to see my daughter have to grow up without their father. i know he sucks that’s why i questioned myself about having this baby - but i tried to believe in the good in him, and tried to make us at least somewhat functional. for our daughter.

Not sure how to navigate this, and truthfully i could never hope for this on anyone, i just want to share. hopefully prevent anyone from making the same mistakes as me.

what do i even do from here?

i know i may get a lot of backlash for posting this.

im 24y/o.

my whole pregnancy has been a nightmare. my boyfriend and i broke up due to it, we always spoke about getting an abortion if i ever got pregnant, but then being put in the situation it was a little harder than imagined. we knew having kids wasn’t for us, especially right now. i decided to keep the baby, and we disagreed over it.

We still keep contact everyday, but he felt i was betraying him by going against what we always talked about. i’ve been going to every appointment on my own, going through all of the symptoms, motions, all on my own. i’ve never fully been sold on keeping the baby, as it just feels wrong and not my time. but i held on.

doing this alone has already been one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. i’m 12 weeks. i had to quit a job and start a new one to accommodate for the symptoms effecting me so badly while i’m at work. my new job is great, but i left a good opportunity. due to this. i live on my own, cities away from my family, i would have to move back to my hometown (i was very unhappy living there) in order to have any support system during the pregnancy/after i give birth.

i told myself to stick it out and SOMETHING has to go right with this pregnancy. i’ve dreamt about having a boy my whole life, and i knew that there was still a possibility of something going “right” and making me feel like i made a good decision.

then i got my nipt test results. female. it feels like this is just the cherry on top of EVERYTHING, and that this just isn’t for me right now. am i wrong for feeling this way? i know people say they have gender disappointment and feel better about it after a while, but i’m genuinely mourning anything i ever planned for my life. i don’t want to be a single mom. i don’t wanna be pregnant anymore. this was the last thing i was holding onto, and of course it’s showing me even more that it’s not meant for me.

i’m heavily considering just terminating, just feeling like i’m not meant for this and the gender disappointment makes it that much worse. forgive me if i sound ignorant. i really just need somewhere to put these thoughts and get real feedback.