Does everyone cheat eventually?
Wrote on a phone, more of a rant if I'm honest but people respond if you can help 🥺
Venting not angry just exhausted with myself
So really, what I'm looking for is someone who has been married for years and years to tell me that everything is okay and some (praying for most but I'll take it) people really do never cheat.
Feel like I'm the toxic one but only in my head not with actions. I can't say this all to him again, he's already so patient and understanding. We've been over this but it doesn't matter, my brain won't stop. He's don't nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.
Hi, F23 been with my partner M23 for seven years this year. I love him so so much. We're both each others only person in every way, lived together since we were 18 got a dog, buying a house this year.
I love everything about him and it genuinely makes me cry sometimes when I think about how much I love him.
From my perspective he's obsessed with me, constantly touching me, reassured me, he's my rock, emotionally physically. He's perfect.
Now onto my question.
My family history is dodgy. And I mean, every single woman in my family (we are all girls, 13 in total, I'm the youngest girl out of all our cousins aunties ect) they're ALL married or dating to a man that cheated on her.
My partner's grandparents have the same love story as us, we connected so well... We found out he cheated on her when they were in their 40s.
My dad cheated on my mum, his dad cheated on his mum.
Yada yada yada.
I feel wrong for being so caught up in it all but I feel like I'm destined for him to cheat on me. I never control anything he does because I think that's a punishment for both of us and it would make me crazy. I don't have social media, he does. He goes out with friends ect. I have never had any reason not to trust him and I would never do anything to make his life harder or cause resentment.
But at the same point, I feel like it's inevitable that he will "slip up" or "make a mistake" or it's something with me and I should have been better.
I've started feeling weird about him going out, which is rare anyways because he's a home body. If he says something about a girl in work, it gets my back up. Again all internally because I don't want him to change anything. HES not doing anything wrong.
It impacts my decision for having kids mostly. I couldn't do it to someone else, the shit I had to see growing up. Cuddling my mum whilst she cried over and over, it being a constant conversation when all the women would come round to our house. My nan even told me when we moved out together that "he will leave you with a load of kids when he gets bored"
I'm trying not to listen to other people but when it's thrown in my face constantly by family, friends and the media it's so hard.