u/bateman80

Hi guys. I am currently on holiday in Cornwall with my family. We are from Glasgow. I’ve been to Cornwall loads of times as a kid but this time, as an adult with more time to look around, I’ve noticed that there is definitely a vibe in Cornwall that is distinct to the rest of England. Difficult to put my finger on it. It just feels a wee bit more Celtic, like Scotland and Ireland. I know there is celtic heritage but have been surprised by how much of a connection I feel.

Anyway, I love your beautiful part of these isles. Thank you for being so welcoming. We are off to the last day of the Mevagissey festival.

Just putting this out there for anyone who is doubting whether it’s worth trying stimulants. I’ll preface this with the disclaimer that everyone is different and that this is my personal story. I am a male in my 40s. My earliest memories are of feeling uneasy or unsettled. Feeling like I was too much for people. An outsider. Not able to understand how people could easily interphase conversationally. Over the years I created an outgoing character who is charismatic and witty, but wearing that mask exhausted me and I realised in adulthood that I didn’t actually know who I was anymore. A friend who would observe me with different groups of people once told me that I send a representative out to meet people. Ended up in crisis in my 20s, diagnosed with depression and have been on antidepressants since my 20s. Have tried several. They all did something in a chemical feeling kind of way. Best way to describe it is that my mind feels like stormy waters, and that antidepressants, rather than calming the water, gave me breathing apparatus and enabled me to live under the surface of the water, without actually calming the water.

Anyway, I was recently diagnosed with adhd after reading a book about raising a child with adhd, and realising that I was reading my biography. I started methylphenidate 5mg ir 3 x per day a couple of days ago. Within an hour of my first dose, those stormy waters became still. My brain fell silent for the first time in my life, and my permanent feeling that some unknown bad thing is about to happen disappeared. I have come to the conclusion that I probably am not depressed and never have been. It’s completely mind blowing. I actually didn’t realise how hard I have it until my brain fell silent. I still don’t really believe that everyone else gets this feeling of peace on tap and for free.

May your current hyper focus give you joy xx