u/bean_notsomean

Am I wrong for leaving a church because I feel excluded?
I’m using changed names and leaving out identifying details because I want to stay anonymous. I’m 26, and I’ve been feeling increasingly sad and uncomfortable at my church. I was baptized there, and there was a time I thought it would be my church for life, but lately I’ve felt like there are tight little circles among the choir, camera, and other ministry teams, and that people mostly talk to those they already know or consider important. I don’t expect anyone to be my friend, and I’m not trying to join a team or get special attention; I go to church to focus on God. But I do think people should make an effort to acknowledge and welcome others. One person, I’ll call her hazey , is on the choir team and is very expressive in worship, but I’ve experienced her as cold and dismissive outside of it i’m not the only person that has said that she makes faces like as in disgusted or doesn’t wanna touch your hand to greet you and she only is very welcoming to those that she considers her friends or those that she deems important at Church ,there have been times she walked past without greeting me, and when she has greeted me, I’ve felt unwelcome. Her sister, Kristy , is a lovely, warm person, which makes the difference stand out even more. Another person, Rick , is responsible for adding people to the congregation’s group chat. I’ve asked him several times, and he keeps saying he’ll add me but hasn’t. I asked the pastor for help, but he directs me back to rick.Being left out of the main church chat makes me feel even more excluded. I can’t know what either person intends, and I know they may see things differently, but from my perspective their behavior feels selective and inconsistent with the welcoming spirit I’d expect from people in visible church roles. Part of why this hits me so hard is that I experienced something similar as a child, from about six to twelve. At another church, I wasn’t allowed to spend time with the pastor’s daughter because my family was lower-income, and she was expected to spend time with children whose parents had more money. That left me with a painful association between church cliques and being treated as less important. I know that history may make me more sensitive to exclusion, and I’m not claiming I’m perfect; I have things I want to work on in how I speak and react. But I’ve tried to pray through my sadness and irritation, and I still feel that this church’s atmosphere is no longer right for me. My mom says to ignore the people and focus on God, but I’m finding that hard when the congregation itself is part of what’s hurting me. I plan to keep attending church elsewhere because my relationship with God matters to me, but I think I need to leave this congregation. Am I overreacting, or is it reasonable to look for a church where I feel more welcomed

CAMERA TEAM NOT MINISTRY SORRY

I (26F ) have a close friend (24 F) I’ll call her Emily . We’ve been friends for about 5 years now and we get along great. Like any other friendship we’ve had our fair share of disagreements but nothing major . Emily and I are the polar opposites aesthetically. She’s promiscuous and dresses very sexy while I have a more tomboy/ Alt look . This will make sense later on . I have been married for 6 months to my husband we dated a year and a half before eloping in December of 2025 . In our marriage we have boundaries just like any other marriage . One of them being (no friends of the opposite sex in real life or social media ) . Emily knows about this boundary .she knows that I’m a bit jealous and possessive and she has asked me twice how I possibly did it to get a man , who in her words “ is obsessed with me “ because she sees how attentive and caring my husband is , whenever I’m out with her or my other friends my husband will call or FaceTime me to ask who I’m with and what I’m doing . Emily and my husband have never met in person . They’ve only said hi to each other once over FaceTime when my husband called and I was hanging out with her but it was at night time and they could barely see each other . Emily has a very provocative social media . When I say that I mean she wears little to nothing with her breast hanging out and shorts or skirts barely covering her cheeks . So it struck me as odd when on Sunday my husband told me Emily sent him a friend request on Facebook . My husband told me that he deleted the request but I made him block her on Facebook and on Instagram just in case she decided to send him a request there too . I’m glad he told me but I’m upset because why would there be a need for her to add him ? When she knows her pictures are extremely revealing. Why would she want my husband to see that . I haven’t asked her and she hasn’t said anything regarding the situation. I want to think it was an accident but I highly doubt it . I have another close friend Jenny , my husband and Jenny have met in real life . All 3 of us have hung out together and what not but Jenny hasn’t ever thought of sending my husband a request and she did say it was weird if Emily to do that . My husband is a trucker who is never home so could it be because she thinks he has money ?? She does go for men with money but I just never expected it to be my man .

God bless you all. This has been a question that has been weighing heavy on my spirit and it rubs me the wrong way and I honestly am not getting a clear answer anywhere because it’s a question that many people have different opinions on, but I understand honoring and respecting church leaders, but that’s it not idolizing them not worshiping them not treating them as God himself does anybody elses church celebrate Pastor’s appreciation day or month? For some reason, this specific topic bothers me because I was introduced to it for the first time in all my life a couple months ago at the current church I’m in . For context I’m 26 and I’ve only been congregated to three different churches all my life when I was around four years old I went to one church and then from there-my parents congregated to a different church and I was there from the ages of 6 to 11 years old and then we as a family stopped attending church and recently two years ago my mom started congregating herself to a different church to this new church, which is the third Church I’ve ever been to in my life and they celebrate pastors appreciation day . Like I said, I understand, honoring and respecting church leaders, but to go up in front and recite a poem to him or sing him a song and then leave gifts by his seat or at the alter just doesn’t sit right with me it almost feels like we’re idolizing the Pastor. I don’t know if I’m thinking too much of it or if it’s because I’ve never seen it in my life before, but I felt extremely uncomfortable that day. I was caught off guard , if I had known that they were gonna do that that day I would’ve never shown up, but I wasn’t following their Facebook page where they post things so I did end up going and my Bible study group , which the church has Bible study groups , now that’s normal for me. My Bible study group was called to go in front and I was told that you know say some words to the pastor or sing a song or something . I was so shocked that the only thing I told him was that you know I apologize for the times that I’ve stood him up when he was going to give me Bible study classes for when you get baptized. I didn’t recite a poem. I didn’t say you’re the best Pastor in the world or anything like that.It just blew my mind and I wanna know if I’m wrong or if anywhere in the Bible does it say to celebrate your pastor and bring him gifts and go all out. I understand when it’s his birthday you buy him a gift and cut a cake and we all celebrate as a congregation but this just really rubbed me the wrong way all the way. I also grew up with a bitter taste in my mouth when it came to pastors and their families thinking they’re royalty, but that’s for a different time. I’m not saying this current churches like that, but in my eyes pastors are nothing more than servants of God who preach his word and they’re very knowledgeable, but that’s that to me. They’re not out of this world, alien, extraordinary, or have superpowers to the point where I should be idolizing them and celebrating them and going all out for Them because we are all equal .