u/bendtheruless

Don't really know how to feel about it. We have no intentions of getting in touch or anything since it's not our place to do so. We bought the straws and are only starting to try to concieve beginning of next year, so in a few months. Deciding which donor to choose was overwhelming, especially because you don't get an adult photograph so a simple google search with the existing information available on the sperm banks website and we were able to find the person we had opted for since the beginning. For us it was mainly important to confirm that the person resembles us visually.

I dont really know what I want from this post other then input and reactions from people in this community and how to deal with it further, also concerning transparency with our future child.

EDIT: He is open ID so we would have found out eventually

My wife wants to get pregant and I don't. We are also certain that we only want one child. So the perfect way to do it would be Rivf so we can both contribute to making our child. It seems perfect but I have a very homophobic family who will never know about my childs existence and I am really scared that it could end up resembling the people I feel a lot of negative feelings towards. I also worry about the future and the child feeling curious about that genetic family that I simply don't want it my life.

What do we do? I somehow want to go back to using my wife's genetic because her family is more accepting and because from today's perspective I feel like I would have an easier time loving that child, knowing it doesn't share dna with people who have really hurt me.

Does that make any sense?

Looking forward to hearing opinions or similar experiences.