r/queerception

My clinic told me they would do IUI the next day after trigger shot, so roughly 24 hrs after… but shouldn’t it be 36 hours? I know in IVF trigger shot is administered 36 hours before egg retrieval. Frozen sperm only lasts 12 - 24 hours, with the first 12 hours being most viable, I am really worrying about the timing. Any advice?

I don't think we are interested in doing IVF or IUI at this point- instead we will see if my wife can conceive when we decide that we have explored our non procedural options with me.

Given that I probably won't try IVF or IUI is it worth seeing an RE before I fully move on from trying? I think we have surpassed what my OB can help us with, I'm loosing some confidence in her assessment of my situation.

There is one 1.5 hours away who has pretty restrictive policies for working with queer couples using fresh sperm (when doing IUI or IVF). From my understanding she will only do procedures with frozen sperm that has been in quarantine for 6 months from donors. With primary partners she will use fresh sperm. (side note - does this seem legally questionable to you?)

I suppose it's not really relevant what she does with sperm if we don't want to go a medical procedural route, but I am curious what she can might offer us that isn't one of those options. Maybe its worth cryopreserving sperm sooner rather than later in case my wife also struggles so that we're not resetting the clock again at a future point that we do decide we're willing to level up to IUI or IVF.

The link above has some information about what we have tried and what we haven't so far.

I have never been on the other side of TTC, meaning helping my partner become pregnant. We’re about to do our first month of home inseminations. She bas struggled with the ultrasounds she’s had to get to be put on clomid and get started on the process, due to sexual abuse she suffered.

I’m feeling a little lost, because I don’t want to cause her any discomfort. We’re already planning to do a “trial run” so we know what to expect when the time actually comes. What else can I do to help her be more comfortable?

Is the IVF GaragesaleSupport group (not IVF garagesale but GarageSale SUPPORT. Weird spacing bc bot keeps flagging the correct spelling) on Facebook legit? They require a $10 fee to be accepted to the discord and I received an email asking for payment in Apple gift cards. I sent the payment but am now panicking that I’m falling into a scam because I know that it’s a common scam method to request gift cards since they’re untraceable. I’m desperate because I’m running out of time to get affordable meds before my cycle and afraid I might be too gullible. Please tell me it’s real snd just weird. 🤠🤪🥴

Hi team! Im gearing up for my first transfer so please be patient as I don’t know a lot. I’m trying to figure out if I need to advocate for 6 days of PIO before my transfer instead of 5 to account for the fact that we are transferring a day 6 embryo. We are also doing lupron prior. I am accepting all advice because our doctor is very lack luster and doesn’t really answer questions.

Hello! I know this is not everyone’s experience, and I am so grateful, but just thought I would give the people some hope!

I just got my HSG and I was so so nervous before. I took 800 mg Advil and a Xanax. It felt like a very light period cramp. Probably a 2/10 on pain. I didn’t have any blockages, so I know that helped. And the Advil and Xanax probably helped too. But just wanted everyone to know it is possible that it will be so incredibly fine!!!!!

Anywhere online or in Denver I can get art medications, especially triggers shot, for less than the $$$$$ insurance is trying to get us to pay out of pocket? I’ve joined IVF GS on Facebook but looking for all the options. We are approaching my IUI but the cost of the meds is really hitting us after the unbelievable cost of sperm and all the testing. Thank you!

Seeing mixed information online. We’re using The Seed Scout, and, unfortunately, our donor’s post-wash/test thaw results were underwhelming for two of his donations (3.5 million motile sperm/0.5 cc vial for one and 5.5 million motile sperm/0.5 cc vial for the other), despite his initial semen analysis being stellar 😭.

Looking for success stories I guess!!

This is *not* a viable pregnancy as confirmed at my clinic!!!

I had an IUI on April 29th (trigger shot the 28th) started progesterone (200mg 2x/day vaginally) on the 30th. I was instructed to take the progesterone until a negative pregnancy test, and to test on May 12th. I took the test early morning on May 12th and it was completely negative. It was a clear blue test because that was all I had, it was an early detection one though. I messaged my clinic, stopped the progesterone. I’ve done 5 IUIs, 5 at home tries, and never even a slight positive so I wasn’t like hopeful.

I started spotting on May 14th lightly (pink and brown) but it hadnt really increased. It’s now May 19th so we’re 8 full days from when I took the negative test and stopped progesterone.

This morning I woke up and was annoyed my period hadn’t come so I took an inito test to see what my hormones are doing. My E3g was 82, my progesterone was 8, and my LH was 14. Which I thought was weird so I took another clear blue test and it was positive. I panicked, and ran to the store and got two more tests, a first response and another generic red one. They both were “positive” but the test line was lighter than the control line on both. Which at this point it would be expected to be much darker. They brought me in for a beta, and levels are likely too low to be viable, I go back in Thursday to confirm, so considering it a chemical (nurse mentioned ectopic too).

I’m just so devastated, I feel like I absolutely ruined our first chance by stopping the progesterone. I should have used a better test, I should have tested again before now. I’m just so heart broken, I’ve been praying for a positive for 10 months, and I feel like I ruined it. I feel like something is just dying inside of me right now, and I ruined our one chance by stopping that progesterone and not taking a better test or testing again, maybe I could have caught it earlier and saved it. I’m just so devastated and I don’t even know what to do.

This post is mostly a rant.

My (29 F) wife (33 F) conceived via known donor in November, we are expecting our son at the end of July and are over the moon about it. The KD will have no rights to our son and we are comfortable and confident with that decision.

We finally had our attorney meeting today (she had to push us out a few months because of a heavy case load mostly due to an influx of cases as a result of the current administration).

While I totally understand the need for second parent adoption and the protections it provides, I just wish we were further along as a society. The cost is asinine. Truly. We have been saving for this but to hear the numbers is staggering.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish we could just live in the excitement of welcoming our baby rather than thinking about the steps we have to take legally and costs we are incurring. Just feels like a lot today.

Hi, I'd like to give my (sperm) Known Donor a thankyou gift for being willing to participate in this process (regardless of outcome). A box of chocolates feels fairly inadequate for the potential gift of life via a donation. Any ideas for something special, personal, or that conveys the deep thanks for being part of this journey?

Hi! Just got the news that I’m triggering tonight with HCG for my first FET next Tuesday :)

I’ve seen people post their test photos. This feels like a dumb question, but how do you test? Like what days do you usually begin testing (and when/how to test to determine if the trigger is gone)?

And what tests to get (any recommended brands)? We went straight to IVF so this is my first time with any attempt at pregnancy. Thanks in advanced!

I had a biopsy of my endometrium following two early pregnancy losses (from IUI), before moving on to my first FET. I just got the results of the biopsy - I have chronic endometritis which is bacterial and very fixable. I should be thrilled but right now I’m just full of grief.

This is fixable and could’ve been fixed before my first two losses from IUI. Why isn’t a biopsy something that they give you the option to do before IUI? I was told an HSG was an option but not a biopsy. I did the HSG.

In the long run I know this will just be another hurdle we overcome. People tell me to keep going. My first two pregnancies were from my second and third IUI and now we’ve moved onto IVF. We have five stellar embryos ready for transfer. The endometritis problem is fixable with antibiotics!

But I just keep thinking about my first pregnancy and how I’d be due in two months. Instead I’m still waiting for a transfer for the chance to be pregnant.

Sorry to be a Debbie downer. Just hard and after all the hoops we had to jump through just to be able to try (donor sperm agreement, FDA testing) and two losses, I was really excited for the egg retrieval win and just feels like the goal post got moved back again with this new news.

Edit to add: I am curious if others struggle with the one step forward two steps back feeling of this process? How do you get through it?

I’m surprised at how non-responsive I’ve been to our recent failed FET result, it’s like I can’t imagine any other phone call except the ‘I am sorry but…’. I am 29yo female (AFAB) and my partner is 27yo man (FtM) he thankfully did an egg retrieval before starting testosterone, however it is not legal for me to carry his embryos yet (based in Western Australia).

I have no (known) fertility issues, our specialists just keep an eye on my TSH due to Hashimoto’s. We did 2x rounds of IUI last year and 3x rounds of ICSI so far this year (using my eggs; first natural cycle, second and third were medicated). This round was our final embryo and we don’t have the money for another egg retrieval currently.

I am deflated and confused. I understand often it is just luck but I have utilised every evidence-based and random strategy after scaling sub-reddits. Why is this happening? Has anyone else experienced similar and what did you do? I am in awe of people who just keep on trying.

Had my follicle study this morning and two follicles are in the mature range (18 & 22mm respectively) so expecting my doc to say I can trigger later and inseminate soon. Send me good vibes please — second medicated cycle but we’ve been at this for over a year 🤞🤞🤞

Update 5/19: triggered this morning! My provider explained that my actual measurements yesterday morning were 16.7 and 22.1 - so she suggested waiting another day or two to give the 16.7 a chance to grow a bit more. I was worried about the 22.1 overmaturing, so gave it exactly 24 hours from yesterday's measurement, then triggered! At-home inseminations will be tonight and tomorrow night, so roughly 12 and 36 hours post-trigger. Here we go!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone,
I have just started 175(ml?mg? I cant remember) Gonal-F injections for egg retrieval. I have PMDD and am quite sensitive to hormonal changes. Unfortunately the medication has triggered intense insomnia and anxiety, including panic attacks. I genuinely feel insane and so scared. I have been waking up at 3am and crying, having intrusive thoughts that my partner is untrustworthy and going to leave me (not true), constantly crying and anxious, dreading bed time. I feel like our bed has a dark and scary energy and i keep reliving difficult past events. To call it mood swings would be a lie as the only way i’m swingin is down !

I used to take medicinal cannabis (edibles) which i have stopped for this process which i think has made things harder.

The cycle of PMDD, then getting my period which is painful and then going straight into stims has been really hard. We have been waiting so long to get to this point and the next step is hopefully FET and pregnancy. But right now i feel so lacking in resilience. I am a social worker and capable of taking care of other people but feel incapable of taking care of myself. I have therapy, supportive partner, good friends, exercise, etc but i’m still struggling.

I want to know if anyone else has had a similar experience ?

Hi all,

My wife (34F) and I (38NB) are preparing for our first FET in a couple weeks. We started our journey with IUI in February of last year and after 4 unsuccessful rounds we decided to go the IVF route. Our plan is for my wife to carry and use her eggs and donor sperm. After our first egg retrieval and PGTA testing, we have 2 euploids - 5AA and 5AB.

We are both hopeful for our upcoming transfer, but trying not to be too optimistic (as sad as that sounds). We also have been keeping our journey a secret from most of our friends and family, only letting two of our best friends know to have someone to talk to.

Also - My wife has symptoms of PCOS but hasn't been diagnosed, even after consulting multiple docs. She had a DNC a few days ago to remove a couple polyps and has been given the green light to start taking Estradiol and then PIO to follow prior to transfer.

Looking to see if anyone has had a similar experience or symptoms. Also, any recommendations on staying strong through this longggg process and the dreaded two week wait. Thanks all!

Please limit your pregnancy celebrations and pregnancy test photos to this thread.

At the time of purchasing, he was Canadian compliant listed and now isn’t (retired anyway). But what would the reason for this be?