Family uses me for labor
Hey I'm a 40 years old male and about 5 years ago my mother had reached out to me and my girlfriend and asked if we would consider moving in with them. We had our own place about an hour from my parents but as they are getting older and have a very large farm they need help with work and dads getting to old to do it all by himself anymore. My dad is retired from the fire department but has 2 side business roofing and construction. And over the years Ive always helped out with farm work or construction work or whatever no biggie I don't mind hard work and it's quality time with dad.
The original agreement was that me and my gf would move into a mother in law suite above my parents garage and I would work a "few hours a week" and in exchange I could live there for free pretty good deal or so I thought. Fast forward a few years me and the gf broke up and Dad has been using me more and more around the property and off the property I ended up getting layed off from my job about a year ago and since then Dad has had me working 40 hour weeks at minimum sometimes as much as 60 hours then he will just say he's not going to pay me cuz "that job was rent" but I'm not supposed to pay rent "well that was years ago" or "your momma said that she don't pay the mortgage" and I'm like but I gave up my place under those pretenses to help YOU GUYS.
and it's not easy work either this is packing shingles up ladders for 12 hour days or pouring concrete in 100 degrees weather stuff like that. Then to top it off he stands over me while I do stuff screaming and yelling and telling me I'm doing it wrong I've frequently walked off jobs after telling him to go fuck himself but apartment prices have doubled since I left mine and I broke up with my gf so don't have her income to help me. And my mom has memory issues and accuses me of stealing dumb stuff like she locks the good silverware in a big gun safe next to the enchilada sauce she claims I take.
So I was living my own life in a city an hour away with a gf job etc. and gave up my entire life to come help my parents cuz they said they missed me and wanted me closer. Then once I'm good and trapped here they treat me like a giant burden like I begged them to help me with a place to stay. I literally hide in my place cuz EVERY time I walk past them sitting on the couch in given an assignment it may be something as simple as taking the trash out or something as complex as digging out and setting up concrete forms on a job 2 hours away at 6pm on a Friday when I had plans. That's another thing dad never asks what I'm doing or if I can it's just a given that I'll go do whatever as soon as assigned I fucking hate it. He got mad the other day cuz I had to take a friend to the doctor so couldn't help him work even tho my Friend asked me this 3 months ago and he didn't ask until 20 minutes before he needed me.
Also I'm pretty skilled in construction and such but I did not work in it my entire life like dad and being that I'm 25 years younger than my dad there's some things he can figure out or do super easily that I don't and it pisses him off so bad it's like he hates me all I want is him to be proud of me or tell me that I did a good job or to say thanks for the help son or something but all I ever get is screaming and yelling and told it's not good enough God the stuff he mutters under his breath that he thinks I can't hear as he walks off he really is ashamed of me or something and he just makes me feel like am I really that terrible? Mom says he makes her feel the same way.
I've started calling around to contractors and asking for ballpark numbers on work that I do for Dad stuff that he's not even paying me for is worth 75$ an hour to a contractor and that's rough numbers probably more if they charge by the job. Now when he does pay he pays me well but he does roofing where you just sub the job out and don't even do the work makes like 200k a year I've begged him to teach me how to do it and he won't and I genuinely believe it's because he knows he wouldn't have the hold over the whole family that he does if I made the same amount or more money than him.
Idk if I'm asking for advice or help or just venting or what Im just so tired it's 7am and I've been outside working on a deck to get it ready for a pool party that I won't even come outside for. It's 100 degrees outside and dads already been screaming at me for 45 minutes