u/beware_of_scorpio

I’m and American who has lived overseas for fifteen years. Every time I visit home I’m instantly irritated by tipping. We all vent about kiosk “it’s gonna ask you a question” situations, but even sit-down restaurants are completely absurd. This is how nearly every experience outside of a fine dining scenario goes:

Host seats you.
Server comes and takes drink orders.
Server brings drinks. Wants your order.
Server brings food. Maybe takes another drink order.
Server brings check.

Three visits, the absolute bare minimum. Maybe you’ll get a “how’s everything tasting?” two minutes after your food arrives. Ask about the menu and you get “Uhhhhhm depends what you like?”

Yet we are expected to tip for this “extra” and “exceptional” service.

Are there some magic tricks I don’t know about to actually use the $300 seat selection reimbursement?

The last few flights I’ve had that should qualify for the reimbursement have been on Delta. Delta won’t let me select any seats outside of regular economy. Call them and they say my fare class isn’t eligible for upgrade and there is no option for them to move me to comfort or premium at any price. Per the FAM, travel agents can’t directly book seats outside of regular economy that would result in a higher price, only the traveler can make that change and get reimbursed via voucher. But, the airline won’t allow any changes to comfort or premium economy. Around we go.

Anything I’m missing? I am dreading 14 hours alone with a two year old cramped.

My coworker is one year younger than me. We clicked instantly at work and became close. He’s Korean, I am foreign. I am a manager at our work, but not his manager. He is married to a woman, I am gay and married to a man.

A few months ago he started calling me 형. I reciprocated a few weeks ago and kind of started calling him 동생. This is my first time in this dynamic and it’s very different for me to be treated so differently from someone I see as a peer. Accepting his deference to me (drink pouring, agreeing with whatever I suggest, the compliments) is taking getting used to but I’m getting there. The issue is I don’t know how to behave towards him. I care deeply about him as a friend, but I don’t know what behavior from my part is normal here.

What are his expectations of me? How can I be a good 형? I deeply value his friendship and want to do right by him.