u/bhosadiwalechacha34

My husband has lots of hobbies. These hobbies are expensive on pockets and occupy plenty of space. Lot of these items are purchased without giving much thought and they are eventually just lying around in the house. We have a small(ish) house.
I have few hobbies as well which are different than his. Reading books is one of my hobbies which occupy some space. 3 book shelves across the whole house. I agree, a few of the books are useless and I have been meaning to get rid of those for a while (sell/give away).
It’s just that it is a time and effort taking process as I cant just point out which books I want to keep and which I want to throw.
He has in the past asked me to get rid of those to save space. He isn’t finicky about saving money.
He also occasionally gets rid or organises his stuff but the incoming random stuff is mostly a lot more than the outgoing stuff, leading to wastage of money(his) and space of the house.

Cut to this one incident. He randomly gathers about 20 odd books of mine and a few his and keeps them away for discarding.
I tell him I will sort mine out and he should not throw mine. He can throw his books though I can definitely sell those for a good price.

I have been super busy and I didn’t get the time to put the books back (which he in the first place had removed from my book shelves)

Yesterday randomly I notice the books aren’t there. I ask him.
He said he gave them away to be thrown off!
I was so mad. He didn’t ask, he didn’t inform and on top of it, he felt it was my mistake as I didn’t put those back if I really needed them. Also, gave a lecture on saving space.

He tried to make it right. Got in touch with the guy he had asked to throw the books to get those back. But those were only when I had asked him to. He was confused and found it very unreasonable to ask for getting the books back. He did it to end the argument and sort things off ( calm me down and not because he thought what he did was a mistake!)

The efforts were in vain. My books were picked by the garbage collector and it wont get them back.
Worst thing is, I dont know which were these books!
He says I should trust him on choosing the books. I don’t think I can and don’t think I should. Those were my books and I Will Choose What I Want To Do With Them!

I expected him to them make things right. He suggested to buy me those books but the thing is I dont know which were those and obviously, I can buy them again.
I knew he wouldn’t make any efforts himself as he doesn’t really feel he was wrong at the first place( said ‘do you not see that there was atleast some mistake at your part as you didnt put the books back if those were so important to you?, to which I said ‘No! because I assumed if those were safely kept in the house, those won’t be thrown and I can sort them when I get some time!)

I wanted to make things even. Yes, I was super angry and I thought I should make him pay for them.
I asked him to give me a bookstore gift card(of the value he thinks is right)
He gave me a 50$ card. Which I think should be enough for the value of the card but I still am not over it. I can let go now though.