I tried to have a good 4th with my kids, despite my husband deciding he doesn’t love me anymore on Father’s Day.
I’ve been trying so hard to be ok for the sake of my kids. My focus has been regulating. In general. Everything. Regulating. It has been near impossible for me while I have to live under the same roof for the time being. But I’ve doing my best.
Today he bailed on his daytime plans with the kids, and pulled some bs excuse out his ass. Regardless, I was sticking with the plans that the kids and I made together. And stuck we did. Even with the rain and even with the closure of the one thing they were most excited for.
As soon as we get situated and events were about to begin, one of my kids starts bawling. I was caught off guard because I had never seen a reaction like that before out of them. I literally thought they watched someone get murdered behind us or.. I don’t even know.
It was their dad. As well as his lovely date.. sitting only a few rows behind us. It took him a sec but he did eventually meet our eyes. I gave him a sarcastic little wave then pointed, mouthing to him that they were crying. He nodded? Ultimately they wanted to leave so that’s what we did. We ended up doing little firecrackers in the driveway, though everyone’s spirits were noticeably low.
I’m so hurt. His decision to leave completely blindsided me. I’ve been struggling to keep my head above water as it is. And also trying to accept what is happening.
But seeing my kids react like that caused me legit physical pain. Shits not fair to them. They don’t deserve this. And I don’t know how to make it better. He hasn’t texted my oldest and still isn’t home from his festivities. I’m not even sure how he’s going to react to all of this. So I’m in panic mode with no family support and no one to talk to. I feel like I’ve truly lost it yo.