Egg irl
I'm 36, and after 36 years of treating my body like shit (three guesses why) I already look like a bad artist's rendition of an old fat person.
I realized during one of my solipsistic evening work commutes a few months ago that my childhood crush on Tifa from FF7 was only partly because she was a polygonic babe but mostly because I also wanted to be a polygonic babe.
I have two kids, I'm more active in their school communities than I'd like to be, I think it's incredibly important to be a strong male role model so my kids don't turn out to be assholes or facists. I really love my wife and I don't want to scare her off, but she's frequently told me that she probably would've been a lesbian if it weren't for me (jokes on her, I guess).
I think, I know what I am. And I know that it's almost 20 years too late to be the woman I want to be on the outside. I can be happy as I am, I guess. But if there was a magic button I could press to be the shape on the outside that I've been yearning for, for years, I'd press it in a heartbeat.