Depressed and too much on my plate
Me (26M) have been struggling with depression, I have bad habits that I can’t seem to break and things just seem to be getting harder and harder.
My partner (27M) is currently pregnant, I’m trying to juggle work, fixing things around the house, being a present father/husband, dealing with my emotions and it’s all seeming too much and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m currently vaping behind her back, I buy a vape and then stop for a week or so then get another one. We have 2 kids with another on the way, our finances aren’t horrible but bad enough that the vaping thing is eating me alive, I don’t drink or do drugs or anything so this is like my only vice at the moment. I absolutely hate lying about it, even though she doesn’t really ask about it. I eat fine and there’s always food in the house for everyone, the basic needs are met. However I can’t juggle everything, there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to handle it all. I’ve been feeling more and more depressed and thinking bad thoughts, I struggle to reach out because I don’t have a whole lot of a support system for this. I don’t want to add this stress onto my wife as she’s already very pregnant (8 months.) I don’t know what to do, any help is appreciated, or sharing your story if you’re dealing with something similar.