Would this make men hesitant to date me?
I’m a woman in my late 20s and I’m trying to date intentionally, but I’m worried about how my life situation would come across to men who are looking for something serious.
I’ve only been in one relationship, from my late teens into my early 20s, and I’ve been single for about 6.5 years since then. A big reason I haven’t dated a lot is that I take dating seriously and always have. I don’t do casual dating well, and I’m not someone who opens up easily unless I see real long-term potential. I tend to date with the hope that it could become a lasting, committed relationship.
During college, I very unexpectedly and traumatically lost my father, and it deeply affected my life, emotional stability, and sense of direction. I wasn’t able to finish my degree after that, and I’ve dealt with grief, anxiety, and feeling behind compared to where I thought I’d be by now.
I do work and show up for my responsibilities, but my current job is not where I want to be long-term, and I know it’s not the most impressive career-wise. I’m actively trying to improve my career, finances, and finish up my degree, but I’m not fully where I want to be yet.
I’ve always been comfortable tackling life on my own, but I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t be nice to have someone genuinely in my corner — and to be that person for someone else, too.
I’m not looking for someone to fix me, rescue me, fund me, or be my therapist (I have a real one… lol). I want a healthy relationship while I’m still growing, healing, and building a better life for myself.
I’ve struggled with feeling like I need to wait until I’m more “perfect” before dating, but people in my life have reminded me that most people are works in progress. I’m trying to understand what’s reasonable self-awareness versus unfairly disqualifying myself from a relationship/love.
For men who date seriously: would this make you hesitant, or would it depend more on how the person handles it? Would my lack of relationship experience, long time single, unfinished degree, or current job situation be concerning, understandable, or potentially a positive because I’m self-aware and working on it? What would make this feel like a red flag versus someone worth getting to know?