“Энэ нөгөө хүүхэд маань хоолоо иддэггүй юм уу?”
Is this jarbled? I speak no Mongolian at all. I just want to know if the tone is tender/kind or condescending, if said about a woman (not a child and actually older than the man speaking) who is under a family’s care and very familiar to them?
I didn’t mean to stress him out😭
I met a huge group of you guys briefly. I’m an ex-fire lookout up in a northern town, ran into tree planters while I’m back in my old region for a farewell trek to my old mountain home. I’m a wayfarer now with a travel writing patronage.. but I could tell the planters by just looking at them. Didn’t get the chance to make conversation beyond the simple fact exchange of adjacent work history which is why I’m curious to make convo here instead. Just felt curious after seeing a whole group of interesting people in the middle of their town tasks :)
I always thought planters are the highly mobile/social/active version of solitary, rooted-to-one-mountain lookouts.
Also what do you folks do on your offseasons?
LONGEST POST EVER INCOMING..
I met my boyfriend in Japan and we are now LDR. I think he permanently altered my brain chemistry.
When I’m around:
At the time we met I had my own rental in his valley, this man started caring for me bc he was appointed my helper by the sweet elderly people bc he knew some English. We discovered we had two related craft skills, he wanted to learn mine, he designated me his sensei, started connecting me w other craftspeople in the village, etc. Then I wanted to extend my stay after 6wks but couldn’t because of lack of availability. He offered his kominka which had three empty rooms. I said oh maybe I can just leave my huge pack there and go on small trips? I was worried to go straight into living there you know? He encouraged my trips to see friends who live in other regions, but I used his home as a base. He helped me clean my rented place before I moved my stuff to his. It was quite the scandal in the tiny village for a few weeks lol….like it’s not normal. Everyone was shocked.
Then we built a little world together. My new normal became.. Waking up to soups he cooked. Tea made for me. Served with kisses and cuddling as he puts on a meditative cat TV program (I never watched TV in my life much and this was so endearing bc when he said he does i was like skeptical only to find out it’s cats. not even narration. just cats being lazy across Asia set to traditional music). He goes to walk his dog (very reactive rescue dog, sweet but terrible to walk, so I usually get in my alone time at home >< ). Then for the day in winter his day’s work just consists of hunting so we either go to the forest or on walks or we do whatever we want or do our craft skills together or cook or process meat. Or he leaves me to my crafts which he brings and finds all the materials for himself, or we make trips out of foraging or gathering stuff in the forest. He either takes me to lunch or cooks it. He’s always thinking of things to do like we sometimes go to this special private onsen for a day trip. Or he’ll take me for hikes. If we leave for the day he’s already prepared a lunch to bring! Evenings are always our nightly bath together, he has this huge tub and um. every single time. It sounds ridiculous but he basically washes me. Extremely slowly. People will laugh at this but this man even shaves for me (I insist on shaving certain part, he doesn’t care about that but he was like well if you do then I insist on doing it for you) and often I get scalp massages as he helps me wash my hair. And afterwards he insists on drying my hair more than I usually care to w scrunching it in a towel (it’s adorable he starts fussing like “[my name]-chan it’s not dry enough.. Japan is too humid..”) also he applies camellia oil, bc the first year with him he helped me learn to start caring for my hair better bc I expressed interest.🫠
He keeps the house clean. I don’t even know how trash works LOL he actually took care of my trash before I ever moved in, like at my rental now that I think about it. I can count on one hand the number of times I have ever done the dishes for us in either place. He will ambush me if I try and tell me to sit down and stop. I haven’t cooked a meal on my own once in his house either. He says he wants to try my cooking (I am actually a good cook) but when I say I want to learn to make xyz he just ends up doing it or guiding me and then I never get a chance. He has stopped me before from reciprocating. He will just stop me and be like “thank you, but no, not tonight”—and then proceed to never let the night I cook actually come lmaoooo. One memory I have, he was coming to visit when I was still w my own place, and I said to give me a heads up before he arrives so I can wake from my nap and do some last minute cleaning. And he was like no, turn your phone on silent, sleep, I’ll come in and clean and cook so you just rest. And he did. It was just so sweet. Another memory from that time, I said I’ll cook for him and was excited , but got too shy/embarrassed once I finished bc the meal was not how I expected, texted him panicking saying please can we say I didn’t cook, he arrives, the pot is covered and I’m like cripplingly shy about it, again blatantly lie with apologies, he hugged me and is like “hmm it smells good though [name]-chan..” and we had a whole silent hug moment and I think it was like, he asked, I insisted he doesnt look bc I was THAT anxious about him not liking it, and he said we’ll just make a hot pot then. And he told me to go sit and cooked in my kitchen. No questions asked. I loomed nervously that he’d try my meal and he ended up laughing shaking his head fondly and putting it in the fridge and saying it‘s okay and I can eat my mystery meal for breakfast tomorrow😭 I think this event might be why he took over with all the meals. In reality the meal I made ended up fine, I just felt nervous he wouldn’t like it bc of his usual tastes, what I cooked was very different cuisine. It was pure nervousness he wouldn’t like it. He was so gentle.
When I said I am used to living alone so said I’m a bit worried how it’ll be like, before I moved in to his place, he’s like, well you can have all the three rooms of my house and hide away in the furthest one quietly anytime you need, or the forest outside.. But then he showed me this thing he found on his own of people across Japan sharing how they live in different unconventional ways, close to land, etc. One couple built a Jomon style thatch dwelling. And I was like oh that! That’s the kind of thing I love! I lit up, and we were already talking about building me a little hut upslope to have a place to exist and do my crafts in total solitude. And within the hour he is on the phone with the rice farmers of the valley to ask them about thatch and got extremely useful info for us. And he’s saying I can definitely build it (I insisted that I wanted to myself bc it’s part of my interests) and he will help.
He encouraged me to still go on solo trips to see other parts of Japan and says he won’t go because the dog and also “people open their stories up more if you go alone” then when I go on them I usually just miss him the whole time and he unpromptedly writes up entire itineraries and routes there and back. It’s so sweet. He organizes it well and everything.
And I never asked for almost any of this. He said on his own he wants to spoil me. And started calling me lazy queen but I only got that way bc he takes over while smiling to himself about it. Like, sir. You did this.
Oh also he quit smoking for me which is huge. And conflicts-wise? I’m really proud of what we have. So basically our first season together, bc he had just quit smoking he was experiencing a lot of internal withdrawal stuff. There were three times that first year we had, not arguments but, him being irritable in his energy and ending up using a bad tone at me and basically being mad bc of his body and it spilling out a bit. It wasn’t even a real argument bc I don’t argue back, I just get quiet and sad and withdraw. We spoke though and basically I established that I don’t ever want to normalize actual conflict in my life no matter how normal it is for other couples, bc I don’t do that. so now we work on things together or just get space and self regulate or calmly ask for help. We had only one more incident (the third one) after that talk where I preemptively said “don’t speak harshly to me—“ just before he did (it was over him being ‘worried I’d step on a bad part of the roof’ when I wasn’t moving at all and had made it clear I’m totally safe and willing to climb right back down), bc he was again in that irritable nicotine withdrawal state. I silently went to my room and was like NOT HAPPY that I had had to ask that and he still did it.. He came with a full ground bow and said he should not have spoken that way and we cried😭 And then, importantly……It never happened again. He said he was basically going through hard withdrawals and he thinks that’s why he had those three incidents. Problems arise and we approach them calmly. Usually at most it’s that one of us needs some space. Things get taken care of before they result in anything that feels bad for the other person.
that’s our domestic relationship in a nutshell!
……When I’m not around:
He writes many times daily, but it’s like field reports from his farm work during the summer. He is really attentive and sweet but just emotionally not very verbal, and I miss him all of the time. So I’m like half starved bc it’s impossible going from spoiling to now I’m alone.. But then, on my birthday this year, WHILE I HAVE NO MAIL ADDRESS, he sends me a package in the mail anyway. For general post office delivery he arranged for in MY COUNTRY!.. by making a phone call to a city he knew I’d be passing through. I got a birthday message that day paired with “go to this address”. It wasn’t even about the gift itself. just the level of effort still shocks me every time.🥺💕
I have complete trust in him bc the village is so tight-knit and knows and many of them adore me and ask about me when I’m gone and everyone knows everything there and he didn’t date for a decade before he met me. He said he never spoiled anyone before like this but he does it for me because I’m cute and he feels our age gap (it’s not HUGE huge but it‘s there..slightly more than 10 yrs difference😖) makes it natural. He looks my age too btw. And he’s actually handsome. And. Okay I won’t get into THAT but he’s just as servicing/attentive/thorough in that department too.
I think this happened too bc I am financially completely taken care of by myself and can do almost anything for myself and basically men only can possibly court me if they take care of me on an emotional/acts of service level. That’s all that’s left. And he was perfectly ready to take care of someone in that specific way.
I’m planning for his next bday to surprise him by walking the river upstream to arrive in the valley (he will love this) and I sewed him a vest out of hides he gave me. he’s always said to me since that first year that he’s my “winter home” bc I don’t have a home base outside of him, being a traveling writer, but I really hope he makes this more permanent. I think he will because he gets emotional before I leave every time and he does ridiculous stunts like kiss me at the shinkansen before I step off the platform which embarrasses me and he’s like “I don’t care” (I apologize to the public LMAO he and I are otherwise super polite and respectful countryside characters but then he does this dramatically..)
And I love how he’s like..irl he is physically expressive and I feel basically 1000% happy.. I have a love/hate relationship for how he doesn’t say much through words bc I am VERY VERBOSE and I also read through the lines and he uses language so carefully that it makes a delicious tension even when we are apart.
and he’s so sweet and good and positive and funny. he takes care of me but also the dog. Also the boar (there was a boar we were both bonded to and the ONE ‘conflict’ we had over LDR was over saving her bc someone wanted to butcher her and I was like absolutely NOT but it was wildly impractical but also I basically yeah we are in the process Of me buying some small land for the boar but okay okay we won’t get into this here LOL). he is always making sure ppl in the valley feel seen. He distributes meat he hunts generously etc. The village makes it feel like I’m part of a community I never had before. He encourages me to be a little more socially reciprocal too and connects me w the right people. So he also helps me have friends and good enriching experiences outside just our bubble despite that I want to stay in our bubble even more😭 he’s just such a good lovely person and I don’t know how I got this lucky😭
Ugh I miss him a lot right now💔💔
he would bust out laughing if he knew I was gushing this much. He’s asleep rn in Japan while I’m in freaking CANADA losing my mind while my new passport is stuck in the mail .so what else can I do.
Hi, I recently spent a whole season in Korea’s countryside. I did a lot of walking, and sometimes wandered onto Buddhist temple grounds.
I always would just walk them quietly and bow where I saw others bowing, etc. I found myself at each temple drawn to a usually small building tucked away at the highest/deepest part of the grounds, and I’d notice sometimes Korean people (mostly older locals) would enter the temple and go straight to this structure to pray and leave.
I learned they were sanshingak for the mountain gods. The depictions usually show the sanshin as an old bearded man in robes, with child-immortal (?) attendants and a tiger at his side. The paintings were always so beautiful and at one small temple I’d visit it would always be the only place with incense actively burning. I just had some questions to understand better?
I know original Korean religion was more like shamanism/ mountain god worship.. so is this like a form of Buddhist syncretism accommodating/blending with the older religion? Also is the sanshin enshrined at a given temple like a single god/archetype that encompasses ALL mountains across Korea (so a sanshingak=one site of worship of many), or is he a stand-in for THAT particular mountain of the individual temple? (Because usually I noticed these temples are at the base of a small mountain or hill.)
What are Korean people’s associations with sanshin? Do some Buddhists in Korea mostly only focus on the sanshin/sanshingak like those elders I saw?? Do people have personal relationships to the sanshin?
I was just curious bc these were usually the prettiest parts of the temples I’d see and I always was drawn to the incense and animal/mountain paintings. Wanted to understand more what I was looking at. Thank you so much!🙏