u/birdzville

Image 1 — Professional Termite Treatment Failing?
Image 2 — Professional Termite Treatment Failing?
Image 3 — Professional Termite Treatment Failing?
Image 4 — Professional Termite Treatment Failing?

Professional Termite Treatment Failing?

Hi! We live in Phoenix AZ and last year we discovered soft spots in our wood floors. It’s an old house from the 60s with parquet wood floors that were painted black by the previous owners. The house is on top of a concrete slab, block wall construction.

At first we just thought the floors were deteriorating or had been bashed when we moved some furniture, but then my husband said “what if it’s termites?” And so I peeled back the layer of black paint, and sure enough you could see the little buggers running around.

We hired a professional company that my co-worker’s husband works for. We paid $1600 for them to drill around the perimeter, drill into the living room floor in several areas where the soft spots are, and install bait stations in several areas. I assumed it was taken care of.

Six months later, I pulled the couch out to clean the floor, and noticed the soft spots had spread even more, I peeled back a spot and sure enough still live termites. This was in an area where they had drilled. I contacted the company and they sent someone out to drill and inject poison again, the technician decided to do it on the outside wall and not in the living room, which seemed odd.

Now three months have passed, checked again and there are still visible termites. There are even more soft spots around the front door. I started painting outlines so I can tell if they get bigger. I just contacted the company to come out again.

I just wanted to ask if it’s normal to require so many treatments? The termites keep destroying more and more of our flooring. I have not found them anywhere else, but I worry they could be doing other structural damage. Luckily our walls are concrete block so they can’t eat those, but I worry about the roof and interior walls. The floors are old so we were thinking of replacing them eventually anyway, but now we might have to expedite that project because the termite damage is so bad.

Should I worry this company isn’t treating properly?

u/birdzville — 7 hours ago

Do Narcs feel good when you feel bad?

I am trying to work out if my best friend is a covert narcissist.

One thing that I’ve only just realized she does that puts me off kilter when I’m with her is that she acts very chipper and happy when I’m feeling lousy.

She came out to visit family in my city and we got together while she was in town. I had just gotten into a car accident and my car was totaled. I was upset over it because it was paid off and I didn’t want another car payment because I’ve been struggling to pay off credit card debt. I only had the rental car covered by insurance a few days and then had to arrange for my husband to drive me to work until I could get my settlement check to buy another car. That same week I got a really bad stomach virus that lasted 5 days of not being able to keep anything down. I was just recovering from the virus and still not feeling great when she arrived in town.

When I talked to her about everything going on, in a very chipper happy sounding tone she said “oh that’s really tough! I’m sorry” but it was in the tone of “Someone has a case of the Mondays!” In the move Office Space. I couldn’t get mad because she wasn’t exactly saying anything wrong, but it felt really dismissive and belittling. I chalked it up to her being on vacation and I didn’t want to ruin her trip with my problems.

The whole time we did stuff together she acted very happy, teased me about looking ill when we were out together. If I tried to bring up anything about how I was worried about my car situation she’d ignore me and change the subject or make light of it.

Other times I’ve gone out to visit her and when I’ve been in a good mood and wanted to do something fun or celebrate together, she would get into a very sour mood and have some sort of melt down, start a fight, have a panic attack, and my trip would be ruined. Then when I’m feeling down about anything, she’s suddenly little miss sunshine and peppy and happy. It almost feels like she tries to be the opposite mood of whatever I am, and make me feel like I’m wrong for being happy when she is sad, or sad when she is happy. Not saying I need her to be depressed over my car, but just a little genuine sympathy and listening is all I’m asking for.

Then she got into a minor fender bender a few months later where there was no visible damage to her car and she was in tears texting me how traumatized she was, and went through a long rant about it on the phone and wanted a lot of sympathy from me.

These things sound minor but altogether she can make you feel crazy. Just wondering if anyone else knew a narcissist who would act happy when you’re upset, and upset when you’re happy?

reddit.com
u/birdzville — 2 months ago

I think my close friend that I grew up with might be a covert narcissist. One of the odd behaviors I’ve noticed with her is that she frequently tries to control what I eat when we’re together, usually leaving me starving.

One example is when I went shopping with her for shoes for her wedding, I hadn’t eaten breakfast and figured we could grab lunch at the mall. Whenever I asked if we could stop for food, she’d get really annoyed and say she wasn’t hungry and we should wait, so we kept shopping and walking. Around 3:00pm I was getting really hungry and pushed it again, then she said it was almost dinner time and we should skip lunch and wait for dinner. When I expressed I needed to eat she started berating me that her parents were taking us out to a nice dinner at an expensive restaurant and it would be super rude for me to eat beforehand. Her parents ended up not taking us to dinner until 7pm and we got the food by 8. I was so starving and miserable the whole day.

Another time I went to stay with her for a week. Before I got there she made Gazpacho, a cold tomato soup. She made a big deal that she made it from scratch and put a lot of work into it and we could have that for a few days. It had no meat or carbs and was not filling at all, and she wanted me to eat it for breakfast and lunch for several days. When I asked if I could have toast or cereal she didn’t have those and acted like I was very rude for asking for something else when she worked so hard on the soup.

If we went out to restaurants, she’d tell me what to order. She’d take me to a seafood restaurant when I don’t like seafood. I have IBS and not being able to eat consistently or being forced to eat high acid foods like tomato soup can aggravate my stomach. She has a ton of food allergies that she wants to be respected, but she dismisses me or even gets angry if I want to eat something according to my body’s needs.

It seems to be a pattern with her, because she told me she also got into a fight with her brother over him not liking the food she made while he was staying with her. She ranted and complained to me about how rude he was for rejecting the food she worked hard on, but I was sympathetic to him. He was on leave from the military and had been eating MREs, so I didn’t get why she couldn’t just make him a nice meal he liked. He’s always been a picky eater, but she purposely made exotic meals that he would not like.

It seems like limiting food is a way she likes to control people, and being hungry is likely to put someone in a bad mood and make it more likely to get into a fight. She seems to love drama and fights, so it feels like she’s setting you up by starving you. She then always plays the victim afterwards like everyone is so cruel to her.

I just wonder if anyone else saw odd behavior around food with the narcissist in their life?

reddit.com
u/birdzville — 2 months ago