u/blackwidowwaltz

Matthew Loren Wall

Per family - last known location Las Vegas area in 2023. They haven't spoken to him since 2018. But background check shows information from 2023.

He's thought to be homeless.

Family is just seeking proof of life

Older Facebook post with information:

Addiction. PTSD. Mental Health.

This is my family’s story.

My brother, Matthew Loren Wall, was last seen by my mom in October of 2017 as he was boarding a bus to California to see his daughter. On February 16, 2018, another family member dropped him off at the Loma Linda Veterans Hospital in California. He was expected to go through another round of rehab for alcohol and PTSD. We have not seen or heard from him since.

The hospital refused to let us talk to my brother while in rehab. They always said “he wasn’t taking calls from family.”

Weeks go by. Weeks turn into months and we still had not heard from him. This wasn’t abnormal. Matt had a tendency to disappear for a few weeks/months, but would always reappear when he needed help, money, or just had a funny story to tell.

In February 2019, I reported him missing to the Riverside County Police Department. The male detective chastised me and said that I was a “shitty sister” for waiting so long to report it. He refused to work with me because of the time difference between California and Guam. So, he began talking with my mom and sister. My family explained that Matt has a history of suicidal tendencies, PTSD, seizures and assumed Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). *Yes, I understand that can’t be verified/diagnosed unless the patient is dead.*

The detective went on to tell my mom that he had talked to the hospital and was told my brother “just doesn’t want his family to know where he is at.” However, he never spoke directly to or laid eyes on Matt. He told my mom, “case closed. Quit calling.”

A female detective at the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department told my sister that my brother committed suicide in Austin. However, she could not provide information or proof. My sister called all over the greater Austin area to no avail. Another dead end.

We never heard from the police department again. One week of mediocre work is all they gave us.

We’ve tried to list in him in National missing persons databases, but are unable to because the police department said the case was “closed.”

We’ve spent the last two years working with veteran’s groups and spreading the word over Facebook. Until today....I received a letter in the mail from the police department about property I needed to claim from the case.

They wanted to return the missing person photos we sent to them. While talking to the police department, the lady suddenly said “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t send these to you afterall. This is still an open and active case. Your brother is still listed as missing.” She gave me the name of a new detective to talk to.

So, now we have to start this process all over. Hopefully this time we get answers.

My brother is a 10-year Army veteran who completed multiple tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. He is 35 years old with an 8-year old daughter. He’s got 3 sisters, a mom, grandpa and countless other family members who miss him. He may be going by a different name now.

If his wish is to truly remain hidden from us, we want to respect that....But we want to hear that from him. His voice. His words. We just want to know that he is safe, healthy, and alive.

We have loved him and looked for him every day for 3 years. We will continue to look for him.

Does he know his baby sister got married? Does he know I moved to another country and my number has changed? Does he know his grandpa had a heart attack and almost died? I know in my heart he would want to know those things and many others, but we have no way of reaching him.

My hope is that he knows he is loved, missed, wanted, and looked for.

Please help me share this so that, if he is alive and out there, he knows we’re looking for him and we won’t stop.

Information per old family post:

" Addiction. PTSD. Mental Health.

This is my family’s story.

My brother, Matthew Loren Wall, was last seen by my mom in October of 2017 as he was boarding a bus to California to see his daughter. On February 16, 2018, another family member dropped him off at the Loma Linda Veterans Hospital in California. He was expected to go through another round of rehab for alcohol and PTSD. We have not seen or heard from him since.

The hospital refused to let us talk to my brother while in rehab. They always said “he wasn’t taking calls from family.”

Weeks go by. Weeks turn into months and we still had not heard from him. This wasn’t abnormal. Matt had a tendency to disappear for a few weeks/months, but would always reappear when he needed help, money, or just had a funny story to tell.

In February 2019, I reported him missing to the Riverside County Police Department. The male detective chastised me and said that I was a “shitty sister” for waiting so long to report it. He refused to work with me because of the time difference between California and Guam. So, he began talking with my mom and sister. My family explained that Matt has a history of suicidal tendencies, PTSD, seizures and assumed Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). *Yes, I understand that can’t be verified/diagnosed unless the patient is dead.*

The detective went on to tell my mom that he had talked to the hospital and was told my brother “just doesn’t want his family to know where he is at.” However, he never spoke directly to or laid eyes on Matt. He told my mom, “case closed. Quit calling.”

A female detective at the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department told my sister that my brother committed suicide in Austin. However, she could not provide information or proof. My sister called all over the greater Austin area to no avail. Another dead end.

We never heard from the police department again. One week of mediocre work is all they gave us.

We’ve tried to list in him in National missing persons databases, but are unable to because the police department said the case was “closed.”

We’ve spent the last two years working with veteran’s groups and spreading the word over Facebook. Until today....I received a letter in the mail from the police department about property I needed to claim from the case.

They wanted to return the missing person photos we sent to them. While talking to the police department, the lady suddenly said “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t send these to you afterall. This is still an open and active case. Your brother is still listed as missing.” She gave me the name of a new detective to talk to.

So, now we have to start this process all over. Hopefully this time we get answers.

My brother is a 10-year Army veteran who completed multiple tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. He is 35 years old with an 8-year old daughter. He’s got 3 sisters, a mom, grandpa and countless other family members who miss him. He may be going by a different name now.

If his wish is to truly remain hidden from us, we want to respect that....But we want to hear that from him. His voice. His words. We just want to know that he is safe, healthy, and alive.

We have loved him and looked for him every day for 3 years. We will continue to look for him.

Does he know his baby sister got married? Does he know I moved to another country and my number has changed? Does he know his grandpa had a heart attack and almost died? I know in my heart he would want to know those things and many others, but we have no way of reaching him.

My hope is that he knows he is loved, missed, wanted, and looked for.

Please help me share this so that, if he is alive and out there, he knows we’re looking for him and we won’t stop."

He is 40 now, has his dog tags tattooed around his neck and tattooed sleeves. Know to have suicidal ideation. No contact. No one has seen him. Has a criminal record. Past addiction issues. Possibly still somewhere around the west Coast/ bordering states.

A few unidentified men fit description on namUs.

Family is asking if anyone has seen him. They believe he is still alive.

How can I attach photos?

Can this group possibly solve this?

The church bells cracked somewhere deep in the holler

like God himself bit down too hard on grief.

Fog crawled low through the laurel thickets,

white as burial cloth.

I stood barefoot in the creek mud

holding my own heartbeat like a dead bird,

trying to remember

which version of me deserved mourning.

I am both the wound and the knife.

The hand at the throat.

The throat praying softly beneath it.

Mama said the mountains remember every name ever screamed into them,

that the trees grow twisted

from carrying too many confessions.

Maybe that's why the pines lean so close at night,

like they’re listening for another sinner

to split open.

To be understood was my desire.

Not loved.

Not saved.

Just seen clearly enough

that someone might touch the ruin

without recoiling.

But people fear honest things.

They kiss with their teeth hidden.

They bury their ugly beneath hymnals and wedding rings.

I dragged mine naked through the yard

like a possum caught in a trap,

snarling bloody-mouthed beneath the porchlight.

Somewhere an old radio played bluegrass through static,

thin as a dying lung.

I drove rusted nails through a cow heart at midnight,

thread wrapped tight around photographs,

whispering your name

like a curse too lonely to stay holy.

The hounds began howling before dawn.

Not barking.

Howling.

Long human sounds

rolling over the hillsides.

And I thought of you.

The way your eyes held that familiar Appalachian sorrow,

that inherited thing—

coal dust in the blood,

fathers who taught silence like scripture,

women who learned to turn pain into supper.

You touched me once

like you were checking if fire still burns.

It did.

God, it did.

Now every mirror in this house feels haunted.

Every room smells faintly of rain and iron.

I leave offerings on the windowsill—

snake vertebrae, black feathers, peach pits, tobacco ash—

hoping something ancient and starving

might finally explain

why wanting to be known

feels so much like dying.