u/blue_atheist6337

Growing up autistic, I spent a lot of time watching people and looking for patterns. I tried to figure out what they expected, what made them angry, and what I should do to avoid getting things wrong.
Some of that was trying to understand social situations. Some of it was trying to stay safe. Looking back, those two things were often tangled together for me.
I could notice patterns without understanding why people behaved the way they did. I was watching closely, but I still felt out of step.
Did anyone else experience this? Did watching people help you feel more connected, or did it feel like work you had to do just to get through the day?