u/bookdaddyhoho

Hi. I'm happily married, I have a wonderful neurodiverse family and my wife and I are both AudHD (or at least have some kind of combination - both of us were undiagnosed until recently when we started learning about our own childrens' neurodiversity).

My wife has sensory processing issues as well as body image issues and both capital and lower case trauma in the past. We've been seeing a couples' therapist and have been talking about it over the past year (our youngest one just turned two).

Since my youngest was born up to the time of this writing, we haven't had sex.

The first year was mostly due to post-partum stuff, and the stresses of life and caring for multiple ND children. Come year two, I found out that my wife was a very low desire type of person and even thinking about having sex spins her into an anxious spiral.

I don't know what to do. I love her so much and decided that this is not a deal breaker, but it's something I do want to talk to her about - we've already talked about it with the therapist but almost every time it comes up, the conversation seems to get steered to other imporant couples' matters.

There are times when I hate the circumstances that we're in. We're both living like roomates who love and care for each other. I asked her if she was even attracted to me, and that was a big conversation - her answer was yes, but getting physical was something that she didn't need as much as I did. There is nothing more that I would like but for her to realize that I want her despite the anxiety, trauma I would still accept her and not leave.

That being said, I miss having sex with her. Like most men, I feel the emotional closeness that comes with the physical act and I wish she could also enjoy it.

Are there any other women who have gone through something like this or similar - especially if you have a sensory processing disorder and anxiety about sex?

My account is new becasuse I've been living in a rock and I was never much into social media (I'm 40).