I’d like the preface this with saying I have found a new therapist and will be wanting to work on this with them, but I also have a lot of other issues and traumas I need to work through first probably, and I just wanted to try and get some suggestions to try and help me work through it on my own a bit first before I can get into it with my therapist.

But my(M) wife(F) and I used to have sex pretty often, close to 3-5 times a week if we weren’t too busy, and we do both have a pretty high libido, but the last couple years my wife has been dealing with a couple medical issues that have made sex take more of a backburner most of the time, specifically she thinks she has endometriosis as well as TMJ or something similar where here jaw locks up and gets stuck that also takes oral off the table, or when she is feeling up to it, it is maybe only a minute or two before her jaw hurts and she has to stop. I love my wife and will always be there to support her and will do whatever she needs, but it is leaving me feeling frustrated with the lack of sex now that we only do it maybe once every couple of weeks and I don’t know what to do about it. I also feel like I can’t talk to my wife about it because I don’t want to make her feel bad or guilty about it since it is outside of her control. I just want to figure out how to process how I am feeling about it and validate that so I can move on and just be supportive for her when she needs it. I feel like kind of an asshole even typing this out, but sex is an important part of relationships for me and the lack of that plus feeling like I can’t talk to her about it is making me feel more and more distant and I dont know what to do about it now.

We do have sex when she feels ok, but positions are much more limited than they used to be, and she also can’t finish as it makes her pain worse afterwards, and I used to love getting her off. If she isn’t feeling up for it, we will usually just have me masturbate and finish on her so its at least still something together, but this just doesn’t feel as intimate to me so it doesn’t satisfy the same. I also have stopped trying to initiate things more since I just assume she isn’t in the mood and that also just makes me really sad. I have a lot of sexual energy truthfully and I would rather not just have to watch porn alone to get that out, and save it to use with my wife, but its so hard when she isn’t in the mood, and I don’t blame her for that or feel upset with her because of i, but it does get between us because I haven’t figured out how to deal with my feelings yet in a healthier way.

Any help is appreciated, thank you

I've dealt with hypersexuality since before puberty, but it's gotten worse over the years. I struggle with relationships, since I have such a high drive libido and urge rate that it's hard to find a man or woman that can or is willing to keep up. barely a minute goes by without craving sexual release, and I keep shaming myself for my desires. Any help would be appreciated.

I need to hear other people's opinions, pls don't judge. Me (19) and my boyfriend (46) have been together for about 9 months. At first the sex was really passionate (I still want it) but either something has changed or I don't know. He said how much he wants me, how much he values ​​me and that he wants the best for me, but lets talk just about our sex life. As I said, it was really great, but lately it's been really bad... no matter what I try, he delays or something. I understand that the mood is not always right (this doesn't apply to me) but you should also know that my period is not completely fine, it's irregular and generally weird, but I'm dealing with it with my gynecologist. So I'm wondering what if this is the problem? But I talked to him about it and he says he understands and so on. Today I'm going to the gynecologist again and I'll probably get a prescription for contraception or some medication because nothing else is just not working. but my problem is that I absolutely cannot do it without sex. For me, it's hell to endure not having sex for the duration of my period... please someone advise me and feel free to text me. I am really desperate😔

hey I’m 15m black and I’m having my first time soon and I have a few questions so basically my first question is about penetration Im around 6-6.2 length and 5 girth but im also curved to the left and I wanted to know how do I put it in without hurting myself do I adjust my body or do I try to make it a bit straight, also how long should I try to last I can get about 15-25 with stops so is that fine .And just give me some more tips thanks guys!

Wondering if anyone has encountered ai tools being used in professional therapy. Therapists, do you use any ai tools in your practice?

I'm getting married soon and have had limited sex experiences, but I have masturbated consistently for 13 years. My concern is that I have masturbated in the same way so long (I am a female) that I won't be able to orgasm with him easily. It is so hard to not be in my head and want to step in and "help". I love being with my fiance and want to set us up for success when we are having sex regularly. He is loving and a great partner. How do I get out of my head and open the door to new ways to orgasm?

I am also trying to take a break for the next few months leading up to the wedding to build some anticipation and open myself to new ways of being touched and loved!

Is it always a good idea to tell your sex therapist that you’re attracted to her? I feel a motherly transference and a sexual one as well. I really don’t think I’m able to tell her about my erotic transference but do therapists in general recommend to do so? I respect her as a professional and a person so much and she’s helped me a lot. I don’t want to hurt our connection but it’s becoming distracting. I feel like it will disappoint her and make me look creepy.

A bit of background. I (F53) and hubby (M65) have been married for twenty years. Sex has gone downhill majorly since he’s been on medication for some issues, which now also stops him getting an erection although he hasn’t lost his sex drive.

Let me be clear - that part doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I adore this man and we’ve generally made it work with other things like toys and plenty of oral.

But lately it’s just become incredibly boring. It’s always the same position, always the same toys and it’s boring me to tears. I never thought he’d turn so vanilla.

I’ve definitely tried communicating ways to spice things up but it falls on deaf ears. I’ve suggested new toys, watching porn, different positions, some
light bondage, even bringing another person in for a bit of extra fun (which we have both done with other people before we were together). I asked him to go and buy me some slutty or sexy lingerie and surprise me with it, and I’ll do whatever he wants…….but nothing.

I’m losing my mind here 😂 What else can I try? I’m honestly tempted to go and book a SW for myself just to get some satisfaction.

31F and always had so much trouble with orgasms, I’m starting to feel like I’m broken!

I never masturbated as a kid/teen and honestly thought that the female orgasm was a myth until I had already been having sex with men for 3 years. My friends started telling me that they were having orgasms and I finally sat down to try and learned how to do it myself. Since then I’ve had many sexual partners (over 20) and to this day, only orgasmed with one of them. Men have tried for hours going down on me, using their fingers, etc and I just can’t do it. I can’t even do it myself in front of them. I really relax, I don’t put pressure on it and just focus on feeling the sensations, maybe having a fantasy in my head and not having orgasm as the goal. But after every sexual encounter where the man cums 2, 3, 4 times, I just feel it’s so unfair. I want to experience real pleasure and orgasms in my sexual encounters! It can sometimes be quite difficult to achieve even when I’m alone, but I can usually get myself there within about 15 minutes. I focus on my technique so I can replicate it when I’m with a man, but nothing has worked so far. I also feel nothing at all when a man goes down on me the vast majority of the time. I feel angry when my friends talk about how much they enjoy receiving head. How can I get more out of it?? It honestly feels like the man could be licking my elbow. I’m also a massive squirter and men love that and think that must mean that I’m experiencing a lot of pleasure, but that also feels like nothing to me, I can’t even tell that I’m doing it.

My main questions are:
- how can I learn to orgasm with men? - how can I learn to enjoy receiving head?

Hi, so I’m looking for advice from a sex therapist/others who have struggled with the same thing and maybe overcome it, but long story short, I’m having issues cumming during sex with my bf who isn’t lasting very long.

Longer story: I (24 yo F) have been with my bf (25 yo M) for 2 years now and he is the love of my life. He is my best friend and I can legit see myself settling down forever with this man. He is my first ever partner and I am his 2nd, so we are both fairly inexperienced to a degree.

In the beginning, sex was not “mind blowing” but I definitely was able to have a few orgasms with him, and I enjoyed it. At the time and before I met him, he struggled with masturbating almost daily, and now he’s managed to cut it down throughout our relationship successfully (no longer doing it). Now that we’re living together since December of this year, we’ve started better habits (less drinking, working out, eating right, etc.) and it’s been very good for us.

However on the flip side, sex has kinda become an issue. He doesn’t last long (maybe like 1-2 minutes of penetration and he’s done) and I haven’t had an orgasm with him in like 5-6 months.

We have pretty solid communication, and I have brought this up to him before and wanted to figure out a solution. Of course, he is a man and I can tell when I bring these things up, it hurts his pride. He understands that this is starting to get to me and it can potentially damage our relationship, but I think we’re both just too inexperienced to figure out the root of the problem and how to fix it. Realistically, I think this is a two person problem. With me I don’t think I’m fully able to orgasm with the use of toys/vibrators since they can make it almost “hurt” from the sensitivity or perhaps it’s just a mental block on my end.

I still plan on talking with him about this deeper and encourage foreplay, using de-sensitizing condoms, and just trying to talk things out about how we can better help the situation. However (with his permission) I wanted to make this post and maybe see if anyone else may have struggled with this and overcome it or maybe some advice on how to go from here.

My wife and I haven’t had sex in 6-7 years. Her choice. Long story short she’s working on her issues and maybe down the road we will again. It’s caused depression and a number of issues in me that I deal with daily and she is aware of them.

On top of all of this I’m bisexual. Years ago I used to hook up with men a lot. Mostly for oral sex. This act is an obsession with me and always has been. I’m not ashamed of it and if it offends you I don’t care. It’s been a thing with me as long as I’ve been an adult.

Most of the attraction and excitement with it for me is preforming on men. Not receiving. I don’t know why. I started seeing a sex therapist last fall because I was at the point where I felt like I was going to act on these thoughts real soon.

The urges are sometimes overwhelming but I’ve avoided caving into them so far. Barely. My wife knows about my attraction to this but I can’t have a constructive conversation anymore with her about it. If I gave in it would be incredible and exciting. I feel I need the connection with men. It’s always been a part of who I am.

If I do give in though it will jeopardize my marriage and despite the lack of sex we get along well most of the time. She knows all of this is damaging me mentally even causing dark thoughts. I can’t explain why my wife won’t give me some form of sexual release or show concern for that matter considering how much it’s affected me.

My question is can a sex therapist help me much with this issue? I’m overwhelmed by this. The urges. The obsession. The loneliness. No sex or intimacy for many years. Sexual contact with men off limits forever. Worsening depression dark thoughts.

My sex therapist is highly trained and very interactive and has been helpful but finding peace, answers and constructive ways of dealing with this has eluded me so far. My impression is that I just have to suffer forever with these thoughts. Maybe there’s no answers and no hope for this. Someone tell me I can find peace and have a future. Sorry this is long but I do need encouragement and hope.

Hi everyone

My wife and I were seeing a couples therapist for a few years and made huge strides together. 100% recommend. Unfortunately, he left the practice and we had. A job change happened around this time, too, and so we have very little room in our schedules to accommodate biweekly or monthly appointments.

Where we do have time is in the evenings, after our kid goes to bed. Is it a done thing among therapists to have telehealth or online only appointments in the late evenings, or how do I find an online therapist in another time zone (we're in eastern, so pacific or mountain?) so it isn't such a major imposition on them?

Thanks in advance.

Yep the title is correct. I cannot orgasm unless I have two things: a rather very strong vibrator and videos of people uncontrollably wetting themselves, to the point where they’re trying to stop it but it keeps coming out. It’s been this way for about two years now (with the vibrator, I’ve only ever in my life came to those kinds of piss videos when I started 3-4 years ago) I can’t come for anybody, only for my self when I have the videos and my toy and it’s becoming a real problem.

I have a girlfriend and she is determined to make me cum (we started a few days ago) but I can’t tell her that I only can from piss and a vibrator, I haven’t told anybody. As of right now I don’t see any way she can make me come no matter what she does, even if she does the thing in the videos, I still would need a lot more than that. I can’t just see one wetting and finish, I have to see multiple, some times a lot more than that, sometimes it has taken me over an hour to cum because when I start, I won’t stop until I’ve finished. To make things worse I masturbate typically every day, some times even multiple times a day.

Also, to add to that, all of the use of the vibrator has made my clit almost “dull” I guess you could say. When I use my fingers it barely feels pleasurable at all; it doesn’t hurt, it’s like I’m rubbing my leg or something, just not really any feeling comes from it. I can only feel good from penetration.

Recently since my vibrator broke, I had to buy a new one and I feel it on my clit but it only really feels good when I’m about to cum or if I angle it a very certain way (which is hard to do and doesn’t even last for long as I have to keep moving it or it gets uncomfortable. Just as a side note—my old vibrator that broke was pretty pretty good and it felt great a lot of the time, but it was a LOT stronger than my new one.)

Another problem is that I can’t seem to find any new videos *anywhere.* I’m running out of new content because at this point I swear I’ve watched it all, (I’ve looked up every possible idea that might have what I want and I still can’t find anything I haven’t seen.) and keep in mind that it HAS to be a completely involuntary wetting; I need them to struggle and end up bursting but keep trying to hold it.

I don’t want to be like this anymore, I don’t want to only cum to piss videos. I don’t want to need a toy just to feel good. I want to cum for my girlfriend—I want her to make me cum with just her body, no piss, no toys, no hours and hours just to merely get close. I want to feel good with other people, I mean that’s pretty much the whole point of sex! At least for me it is. I don’t want to feel stuck anymore, I want to let go and have someone take care of me without all these requirements.

I am asking for a solution or at least something that’ll help. Any suggestions are welcomed and appreciated, you can even make fun of me for it, just anything to help me move on. I don’t want this anymore. Just send some advice.

Please

I have a guy I am currently seeing but sex with him feels off. We get together, I get aroused and all wet but when he puts his finger in, I feel the sensation but then it's gone once he's in the same goes for when puts his penis in. But I do orgasm at the end I just don't enjoy it as I should. I did not have these problems with my ex. He is a great guy and all but I don't know if this is a WE problem or a ME problem.

I am 18F with 18M i have a hard time looking at my body and liking the way I look. I am very much very insecure

he does know that.

we are both a virgin however have had conversations about sex in the past. im scared that he sees what i see. im scared he will be discussed. don't get me wrong hes amazing and thinks i look great and talks about how im " so much out if his league " but im so scared he will think im fat or not like my body. hes a virgin so what if he finds me weird or doesnt like looking at me

has anyone elts felt like this , what did you do