u/bora731

The bouncer at the door glaring at me - why did I make him like that? He's great though I love him he's my creation. The perfect girl who rejects me, why did I make her like that, must have been a reason, how entertaining. The rain leaking through my roof - hey I'm not perfect at creation but it's my atmospheric work that gives texture to my world. This mind body that gets me round and endures so much, what a wonder it is. So I find myself loving everything because it's mine, all my creation and that feels so safe too like I'm always at home wherever I am and I think I'm on the path towards unconditional love of everything when I thought Advaita was all about detachment I've found out it's the opposite, like I've ended up in the opposite place to where I thought I was heading..

In the recent heatwave I sat with a block of ice in a towel on my lap to keep cool. I placed my hands on the bare ice and took them off when the pain got too much. So then I thought what if I step out will it still hurt. So I stepped into me as the awareness holding everything in the field. The body hands held the ice and the sensation I got was different not pain more like dense information/feeling (?) though the pain was always available and it was hard to remain stepped out and when I got pulled in it was owww and I didn't want to damage my hands by persisting. But I could see how the old yogi stories how they could physically endure so much by mastering this state. Just an observation I don't advocate deepening practice through pain.