u/braydenjsch

I (23m) have been seeing an older gentleman (59m) for the past two and a half months. Within these past two months, we have gone out together around thirteen times, and we both have agreed that these "outings" are dates. I really enjoy spending time with him; however, I want to hear some of your thoughts in regard to us.

First, the last time we were together, we were sitting on his couch, and he nonchalantly pulled out his phone to check Grindr. To do that in front of me definitely hurt my feelings. I didn't say anything, and now looking back, I wish I did. I deleted Grindr within the first few weeks of knowing him. We aren't exclusive, nor are we in a relationship, so he has every right to use it, but still I choose to focus just on him, and it does hurt that it's not being reciprocated.

Second, he's still in contact with his ex. They dated for about four months and ended things a month before he met me. From my understanding, his ex was an alcoholic, had a relapse, and is now starting treatment. I think it just comes down to him trying to be empathetic for his ex's situation, which is nice, but I do sometimes worry that he still has feelings for him and that I'm just a temporary thing until his ex gets better.

A few nights ago, I asked him if he was happy with the pace that we were going (in terms of building a relationship). He told me that he doesn't want to jump into a relationship right now, which I do understand, considering it's only been three and a half months since he broke up with his ex. However, I don't want to be strung along.

Please share your thoughts. I could really use them haha. And please be kind to me. Dating older gentlemen is still a new thing for me.

UPDATE 1: Should I end things with him?

Should I end things with him?