MIL comments about my miscarriage
So I’ve always had pretty low contact with my MIL however I fell pregnant at the beginning of the year and me and my partner made the decision to tell people early. We decided that based on if the worst happens then at least people will understand why we don’t want to be around others etc … as his family have quite a lot of gatherings, and if the worst doesn’t happen then amazing, everyone knows.
The worst did happen and it was a very traumatic experience. We rang round our parents the day we found out to explain what had happened and she immediately broke down as we were also doing. I then didn’t see her for a few weeks as I just couldn’t face her as I knew what would happen.
Anyways the inevitable happened and his dad had come to our house to help us fix a light, MIL decided to tag along and come round for a coffee. Me, my partner and his mum were all sat in the lounge having a brew as I’d begged him before hand not to leave me on my own with her. His dad then needed some help so he went up to help him and I was left with her. It took her all of 5 minutes to bring up my miscarriage. I just kept answering her questions very bluntly because I didn’t want to talk about it with her but I also didn’t want to be accused of being rude, she was telling me how much it had upset her, that she had planned a nursery out in their house, and then went on to ask me if I think my anaemia had contributed to it… it felt like she was looking to blame me the minute my partner had left the room. I explained lots of people have anaemia and have babies and we were just unlucky. There was a few other things she said but that was the general gist of it.
I then told my partner what she had said to me when he left the room. He brought it up with her, and she told him that I had seemed quite happy chatting with her about it, and she asked about my anaemia because she thought I might have to go for blood tests and basically refused to admit she had done anything wrong. That never happened, she never mentioned blood tests to me.
Ever since this I decided to go totally no contact, I feel frustrated because she is now acting like nothing happened. It was amazing when we told her I was pregnant, it felt like our relationship had improved overnight, she was texting me asking how I am etc .. and now she’s back to basically ignoring me and replying to the odd Instagram story I post.
I don’t know what to do because I feel bad on my partner that I don’t want to be around his mum, and what about when we do have children, what do I do then, but also I just can’t deal with her anymore. She’s done loads of things like that where she’s acted totally different in front of her children in comparison to her two daughters in law. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve started looking at moving because I don’t want to even live near her.