u/bristolfarms

ok, has anyone else felt like this? i can’t be the only one, right?

i completed pfitz’s base building up to 30mpw plan a few months ago. i’ve been maintaining running 4x a week and lifting 3x a week with one rest day and one day where i do two workouts for about 7 months. i then moved into his half marathon training plan, got to 37mpw, and with everything happening in life (work, taking care of my parents, stress, money, my friend not being able to go with me), i decided to not travel for the race and to not race a half next month.

i figure i’m just overwhelmed and overtraining so i took a week off. since that week off, i haven’t really bounced back. i ran 10 miles two weeks ago, then 20 last week. i would like to go back to 30 but like… i didn’t want to run 8 miles today. my legs are tired. i did a speed workout and a lift on monday and did a rest day yesterday. i made myself run today and i just didn’t care for it.

i’m also slower. maybe it’s because during winter and a few months ago i could crush 10-11 min mile pace and today? i’m at like 12-13 min, i walk a ton. like what is wrong with me??? maybe it’s because i’m slow and need to carve out loads of time to run. maybe it’s feeling like a chore. maybe i just want to get faster and run less mileage every week so i can spend less time every weekday, trying to plan out my workday around my workouts. i’d like to maintain half marathon fitness but be faster. is that even possible? i’ve honestly considered paying for a coach because clearly something is wrong with what i’m doing.

since i’m not racing i figure i’ll just maintain at 25-30mpw with lifting 2-3x a week and i can’t. i already did some blood tests and i have low ferritin so i’m taking iron pills, hoping that it’ll help. but just weeks of not wanting to run, or running but my pace being so awful, makes me feel like shit. has this happened to anyone? how do you even get past this?

i’ve posted here a couple of times and it’s been super supportive. i know i’m the only one who can decide what is right for me, but i just feel very conflicted.

i was able to see a surgeon and we discussed whether i would be a good candidate for surgery. i have a skeletal underbite and got camouflage ortho done when i was a kid. i’ve pretty much been okay with how i look, but i also have some weeks where i feel quite awful. this week is one of those weeks.

i don’t have sleep apnea (did a sleep study), and have no functional issues outside of breathing through my mouth and eating more on one side. no x-rays have been done. the surgeon said that it’s my choice but he thinks that with surgery time and decompensation, it would take about 1-2 years and then of course years of really recovering afterwards. he honestly didn’t think it would be worth it for me since i don’t medically need it, it’s a difficult surgery, and i seemed relatively okay. he said if i had gone in and stated that i hated how i looked and really wanted surgery then he would recommend it for me.

i knew by the time i was like 16 that i should’ve gotten surgery. i’ve spent so many years flip flopping and sometimes it really bugs me and sometimes it doesn’t. so now i’ve just been stuck with this for years. but surgery is scary. i love food, i love having feeling in my face!! numbness scares me. what if i hate how i look after? what if i have numbness in my gums and i lose part of my feeling in my mouth? that would upset me.

but then i look at photos of myself sometimes and hate them. i hate my side profile, i hate how close i could’ve been to having a normal bite with no skeletal issues like the rest of my family. the surgeon said i have subtle skeletal issues and movement would be around 4mm. it’s really just up to me. it sucks that i’m the only one in my family with this issue and nobody else understands. i also have awful under eye circles and i know DJS may not change that but a girl can dream? orthodontists (and i’ve been to many) have said they can just fix my bite if that’s my biggest concern.

like how do you even make the decision? what makes sense?

included photos of me where 1 and 5 i feel awful in but then i feel somewhat okay in photos 2-4 where it doesn’t seem as obvious i have skeletal issues? eh.

every run feels like a slog

aesthetic surgery or not?